Reply
Highlighted
Super frequent scribe
Posts: 60
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

'Doing it' for the first time

Deciding when to have sex for the first time is not an easy decision. When is 'the right time'? It's really important to feel safe with your partner and talk about this - they'll probably be wondering about it too! 'The right time' is different for everyone - and that's okay. Some people want to have sex while they're in their 'teens while others prefer to wait until marriage. It's really important to figure out why you want to have sex in the first place - is it for the pleasure or because you're curious or because it feels right or because you feel pressured to? Or a mix? You also need to consider whether you feel emotionally ready and - if you think you are - be sure to sort out contraception! If you think your partner has had sex before make sure they get an STI check as well *just in case*.

Super frequent scribe
Posts: 40
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

The  Better Health Channel has some great fact sheets about safe sex and having sex for the first time 

Super frequent scribe
Posts: 60
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

I know the first time I had sex it was pretty awkward - I wasn't sure how to ask the guy to put a condom on without sounding stupid and I just didn't really know what to expect. It wasn't as pleasurable as I'd hoped either - I certainly didn't have a magic O (orgasm)! Anyone else have the same sort of experience?

Super frequent scribe
Posts: 68
Registered: ‎19-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

My boyfriend and I have discussed it, but because we're long-distance we haven't had the chance to try it yet. Neither of us have done it before, but we've both got an idea of what it might be like or what could happen:

  • It could be awkward and uncomfortable - we might not know how to position ourselves, what to do, whether we need to say anything etc. (Even though it seems like it should be easy, I'm sure it takes a bit of practise and figuring out!)
  • It could be exciting or a bit scary. We'll try to keep it fun, but be honest about how we're feeling.
  • We'll need to figure out contraception - my boyfriend tells me he's tried putting condoms on for practise and to figure out what size and type works best for him. I think that's pretty responsible, cause he'll know what to do for that part of it when the time comes. Similarly, I'll need to see if there's another type of contraception that I want to use at the same time - maybe a patch or the pill - and make sure I've figured out how to use it before my first time.
Super frequent scribe
Posts: 40
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

 


JustThatGirl wrote:

I know the first time I had sex it was pretty awkward - I wasn't sure how to ask the guy to put a condom on without sounding stupid and I just didn't really know what to expect. It wasn't as pleasurable as I'd hoped either - I certainly didn't have a magic O (orgasm)! Anyone else have the same sort of experience?


Yup, first time is awkward and it hurts. But you become more comfortable with more.....practice? Is that the right word?

Super frequent scribe
Posts: 40
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time


supersky wrote:

My boyfriend and I have discussed it, but because we're long-distance we haven't had the chance to try it yet. Neither of us have done it before, but we've both got an idea of what it might be like or what could happen:

  • It could be awkward and uncomfortable - we might not know how to position ourselves, what to do, whether we need to say anything etc. (Even though it seems like it should be easy, I'm sure it takes a bit of practise and figuring out!)
  • It could be exciting or a bit scary. We'll try to keep it fun, but be honest about how we're feeling.
  • We'll need to figure out contraception - my boyfriend tells me he's tried putting condoms on for practise and to figure out what size and type works best for him. I think that's pretty responsible, cause he'll know what to do for that part of it when the time comes. Similarly, I'll need to see if there's another type of contraception that I want to use at the same time - maybe a patch or the pill - and make sure I've figured out how to use it before my first time.

My boyfriend and I use The Pill and condoms. Gives me peace of mind that there's 2 safety nets.

 

I love that you've talked it through. Did you find it hard to talk about it with him?

My convo was an awkward one but we've had it and I'm pleased I did. Was able to clear the air about expectations and limits

Casual scribe
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

I was quite comfortable about doing it for the first time I thought. I was madly into my boyfriend at the time and we had fooled around, and played a bit before, which was great really to get an idea of what's coming up ahead. Never the less, I still had no idea what to do when we actually got down to it! 
I think what's really important is communication. Before, after and during, and to be honest, I think that's something that's important for any time you have sex, not just for the first time- so you both get what feels good for you, and hopefully can avoid the things that don't feel good too!
 

Although I was able to talk (to an extent) with my partner, what was really great for me, was being able to talk to my sister about it afterwards (details not included). Just to work out if what was happening was normal, that it was ok that it wasn't as pleasurable as expected, that it did infact hurt and that that was ok.

 

 

Casual scribe
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

[ Edited ]
 
Casual scribe
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

I agree, first few times were a bit like "whhhaaattt'sss going on?" and wasn't really that comfortable or amazing, BUT as I did become more comfortable and understand things better..woah! Haha, finally knew what all the hype was about.
heheh so yeah I also agree getting a bit of 'practice' in can help Smiley Wink 

Casual scribe
Posts: 11
Registered: ‎20-07-2012

Re: 'Doing it' for the first time

I was also just wondering, what about same sex attracted people out there, and what their first time was like? What things they may be nervous about maybe?

Top High Fived Authors
User High Fives Count
36
18
15
10
8