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Community Manager
Posts: 5,336
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Learning to swim when the surf's up

This is a thread for @j95 and anyone else to talk through how to tackle the pressures that life throw at us. I put it in everyday life stuff, because while i think it tackles some tough times i reckon it's about thinking through the really positive and happy moments as well.

 

Just like surfing, you do different things at different times. When a huge wave comes past when you're on your way out, you take a deep breath and try not to get squished, but when you're in the right spot, at the right time, that same big wave can be a terrifying but fun ride in (and everyone thinks you're cool). Life's a bit like that, sometimes we just have to try not to get squished, other times we get in the right spot to turn challenges into awesomeness.

 

Here's where we got so far. Lately j95 has been feeling a bit overwhelmed, he's described it as like being in a tornado, a very anger, frustration and stress fuelled tornado. But that's not all the time, sometimes things are a lot  less intense too. So I think this thread could be about thinking through what is good to do based on how you're feeling.

 

So for example, when a tornado strikes, things you could do could include just withdrawing from as much stuff as possible, to try and cut back on the fuel for  the fire.

 

When things are low or you're feeling small and helpless you could do things like distraction and coping, or challenging those thoughts  by remembering (or asking other people to remind you) how strong you actually are.

 

 

Anyway the first step in this whole random thing that i just made up is to think about your internal situation. I.e the different modes you have like small and helpless, angry, sad but also positive emotional modes like chilled out, relaxed, happy, excited!

 

So. list the modes, from the worst/ toughest to the best/easiest

 

Then write a description of what the mode is and how you can recognise it.

 

Finally once we've done that, we can think about what could be good to do in those modes!

 

 

Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

Great surfing analogy
Ok there's 2 that my counsellor and I recognised together, and also a 3rd one that he recognised but we never got to explore, I know a little about what it might look like but I'm not sure.
Those few are:

'dominating':

- angry
- aggresive
- swearing
- behaviour that is similar to the way dad used to be

'small and stupid':

- feeling hurt
- feeling small
- being very passive
- using negative language towards myself 'im a loser' etc - this can also come under dominating, it sort of works for both
- i go back into myself and hide in my shell


The 3rd one, which I haven't gotten to explore yet is
'neglecting'
I think the emelents to this could be like not doing things I need to do to look after myself, like deliberately not taking my medication, or seeking help, or something. Look I'm not too sure yet.

I guess the others I haven't thought of but you mentioned some possible ones earlier @Ben-RO like
'Inspired, creative, tackling problems', you can probably guess what these would look like.
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

I don't know what to do next
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Community Manager
Posts: 5,336
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

Well, we need to capture more modes. Describe them and how you're feeling during them.

 

So one way to do that might be to come back to this thread and describe how you're feeling at different times.

 

Or you could reflect on how you were feeling the day before and describe the modes you experienced.

 

Let's start by having a go at describing:

 

How you felt last night?

 

How you feel right now?

 

How you felt this morning?

Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

How I felt last night...

- Overwhelmed
- Anxious
- Sick
- Like I was going to die
- like my head was like sort of full of stuff I couldn't cope with
- couldn't really think straight
How I feel right now...
pretty 'normal', calm, my head is still full of stuff and I'm anxious but it's manageable, put my head in a micrwave thing is still lingering

This morning I felt
- crap
- stressed
- very tired
- very anxious
- felt really sick
- Angry at myself

@Ben-RO
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

I can't really
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

I can't accurately describe how I felt last night just tried my best to explain
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Community Manager
Posts: 5,336
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

@j95 I think you did pretty good at explaining how you felt last night. I am guessing that it's probably like 10x more intense than some of those feelings at times though.

 

If you had to measure last night on a scale of 1-100 with 1 being the most relaxed and at peace you could ever be and 100 being the worst you have ever felt, what score would you give it?

 

 

Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

91 @Ben-RO
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 15,626
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Learning to swim when the surf's up

Worst I've ever felt though... maybe less maybe like 87/88.
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
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