12-04-2017 05:59 PM
12-04-2017 06:03 PM
That's awesome @j95, it seems like you got a really positive reaction from them I think it's really normal to be nervous! Maybe you could have a think about what you want to talk to them about, make a list even? I'm so glad you got a good response
12-04-2017 06:51 PM
13-04-2017 02:18 PM
That's awesome @j95 I'm so glad she replied quickly and you'll get an opportunity to meet with her.
When you have a day and time set, let us know.
If you're keen, I have a couple of exercises you could do beforehand to reduce the anxiety.
13-04-2017 02:46 PM
And yeah I'm keen to hear about these excersises
13-04-2017 03:23 PM
So @j95 these are helpful when you're doing something, like this, that makes you anxious in the lead-up and has the potential to be anything from amazing to terrible.
You basically ‘rehearse’ all the different options you can think of. You just do it in your mind, but it’s far more detailed than just realising it could turn out a bunch of ways.
So you write down a list of all the different possible outcomes you can think of. Do it privately, and be brutally honest with yourself. What’s in your heart of hearts? And, what’s in the dark corner of your most intense fears? And all the options in between.
Then think each one through. What would you say? What would she say (in your imagination)? Are you standing? Are you eating? Who pays? When she says that do you get up and leave? If she says that do you hug goodbye? Then what happens?
The idea is that it’s our fear of the unknown that really gets us and if you walk through the really full-on outcomes then you know you can survive them.
The final bit is you work out your post-event plan. Who will you call? What will you do? Whether it goes well or not well there’s a good chance you’ll be amped at the end, how will you ground yourself?
And worst case scenario, things don’t go great and she can’t see what an awesome dude you are, how will you manage the feelings that come up?
13-04-2017 03:43 PM
13-04-2017 04:05 PM
Yeah sorry @j95 I know it looks like heaps.
If it helps to frame it like this, you would have been thinking about it anyway, this gives you some structure to the thoughts and will help you keep your mind in check so you don't spin out.
And if you're feeling super chill about it, then this is just a bit of low key prep.
And please ignore it if it feels too much.
Whatever is right for you.