05-10-2012 08:30 PM
Do any of you guys have difficulties controlling your self talk, or is it not really an issue? If so, what strategies do you use?
I have days where if someone says something bad about me, my self talk starts turning negative and I start feeling like my positivity is disappearing and there is this dark cloud on me and I cant shake it. I usually do something I like, to keep my mind off it like watch a comedy cause laughing cures all, listening to music or talking to someone who makes me happy.
Do you think you are very self aware? What other strategies do you think could be used to boost selfawareness?
I think I am very self aware, when I eat crap foods my body reacts, when I feel horrible I sometimes take time to myself to figure out what is going on within me exactly. I get really snappy and grumpy without knowing why so it is important to take some quiet time to reflect and figure out why you are acting that way. I also pray, and when I'm in prayer mode I realise what I did or what happened for me to act that way so its important to talk to yourself.
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
11-02-2013 02:25 AM
i like how you distract yourself with music .. thats what i try to do.. music has taken on a new role for myself since things got negative for me.. depending on what i listen to it it can really change my mood.. also writing is a good one i try and write lyrics or rhymes...
12-02-2013 11:34 PM
In the past, I had some negative self talk before (still have some nowadays but less). It wasn't a lot, but looking back at it now, I can see how it changed the way I perceived events. A while ago, I was in a discussion about negative self talk and the subject came out about something called "cognitive distortions". Identifying these helped me eliminate a lot of negative self talk. They're basic patterns of negative thought that everyone should be familiar with.
For example, one thing is "mental filtering". What this is is that sometimes if something bad happens to us, we think to ourselves, "damn, this happens to me ALL the time." In reality though, what happened is that we just ignored all the good stuff and focused on the bad. Another example is "black and white" thinking, where we only consider two (usually opposite) possible outcomes or solutions to an event but ignore all middle grounds.
Anyways, I hope this talk about "cognitive distortions" helped as I found that they really helped me a lot and a lot of things that would've bothered me in the past can be totally ignored now.
19-05-2013 11:41 AM - last edited on 20-05-2013 09:52 PM by NigioC
Hi, I also have this problem of negative self talk. But I am managing to reduce its effects on me by using awareness meditation techniques. What you are basically doing is being aware of the negative thoughts and just letting them be without any sort of judgement.
19-05-2013 02:52 PM
Hm, this is a very interesting topic.
Offspring! One of my favourite shows
My self-talk is a bit of an oddball at times. When I'm upset or angry or anxious, I tend to overthink the situation and everything that could possibly happen. It becomes quite negative. I'm not sure about other people but I sometimes use negativity to stop myself from expecting so much; to avoid disappointment. Self-talk is fairly neutral to me. I know that if I keep focusing on the negativity and what could happen rather than what has happened, I'm not getting anywhere with it. For me, it really depends on the situation - like playing out my strengths and what obstacles are present.
Strategies that I use for self-talk would be thinking about the situation slowly, like breaking it down in smaller parts to have a thorough understanding of what's happened or what is happening. I like to recognise my strengths and what I have done is all I can do but I can always be better next time.
Personally, self-awareness is overzealous at times. I do recognise my strengths and weaknesses but I like to believe that anything is possible Writing helps and drawing diagrams works for me as well as to talking with friends about it.
28-07-2013 01:05 PM
Hello, this is my first post on here so Im not entirely sure if I am doing it right. , Firstly I love Nina and offspring ,she makes me feel much more normal. I often make situations much much worse by over thinking and over analyzing. So they turn into a huge issue in my head ,even though it is not usually a big deal. I drive my dad and friends mad with it! I wish I could stop but its so hard to. I find it helpful to run ,dance and box or write in my journal and just let everything out so its not all stuck in my head ,I keep a notepad next to my bed to help when I cant fall asleep because im worrying too much ,it really helps. I also warn my friends if im going to be anxious or annoying ,just so they know. I hope you know that EVERYONE over thinks things and says awful things to themselves in their mind ,even Miranda kerr.
23-02-2014 02:12 PM
I use facebook to help reinforce positive sayings.
Different post have affirmations and you can get great pictures continually coming through your wall.
These can change your self talk and mood.
It great and I can share them with people who I know are having a bad day.
A lot of my friends now do the same.
Pictures in your house of places that help you feel good can also help.
Exercise, walking are great.
Meditation which is hard if you have a head full of things running through it, but sitting and letting all those thoughts run in and out of your mind is a type of meditation as long as you don't focus on any of those thoughts.
Music that you can sing and dance to.
30-06-2014 01:36 PM
just wandering around here atm
i find my self talk manages me unless i get a window of clarity to rush off and distract myself with music, a game or a menial household task (often still with music). something that doesn't always work is going out to a shopping center (there's one 5 min walk from me) and being (loosely) surround by strangers. the pressure of not wanting to look like some nut helps me keep control sometimes
30-06-2014 06:58 PM
It's also awesome that you have good, healthy strategies to help distract yourself.
Hopefully we'll see you more around the forums