09-10-2016 03:42 PM
When I was about 14 my self talk or 'voice in my head' would be extremely negative. I would always tell myself 'this isn't going to work', 'what are you doing' that sort of stuff. However, as I've grown up I've realised that that sort of stuff was so bad for my mental health and well-being. Now when the voice in my head chimes in, it's usually with good thoughts and messages. For me, the way I got to that was being around people that are supportive and encouraging and removing the people from my life who are negative and rude. I think it was also adjusting to many new realities (high school, relationships, sexuality) which added to this. But what I've found is that I'm a lot better off now then what I was. Of course my self talks are sometimes negative, but I realise what triggers these and how to deal with them. I notice that when I get tired my self talks are extremely negative, and when I realise this I tend to just stop what I'm doing, breath, and do something less taxing on myself, such as going for a walk or talking to a close mate. I think self talk is something that we all have and it's something that can be quite difficult to control, especially in tough times, but once we do have it under control it stays that way.
09-10-2016 03:44 PM
09-10-2016 05:46 PM
I think self-awareness and self-talk are so important! I have to admit that sometimes I can fall into the trap of 'overthinking' but it's saved me from so many situations that could have gone wrong.
Positive self-talk is also an amazing thing, after all there's a quote that says 'you are your own worst enemy' so if you can be your own best friend then there's nothing stopping you from achieving anything!
20-10-2016 10:35 AM
I really need to work on this myself. I just last night had a random feeling of self hate. No reason, nothing really happened to trigger it, it just came on. I'm working on how to positively change my outlook on myself and life as i tend to see the negatives of most things. Some days are harder than others though but we can get through it as long as we keep trying.
10-02-2017 02:00 AM
I am guessing that there are many more people than we think that deal with the issue of self-talk. It has been something I've dealt with all of my life and mostly been a struggle not to let it defeat me. I have recently left a stable job to start a new business venture and battle it every day - that voice asking me what the heck are you doing and what makes you think you can be successful.
I heard a really simple explanation I want to share with you that helped clarify things for me about staying in the moment. I never really understood what that was until just recently. The thinking goes that depression is when all of our thoughts are stuck in the past and anxiety is when all of our thoughts are stuck worrying about the future so staying in the present is not allowing your thoughts and self-talk to go either to past regrets or fear of the future.
So every time my self-talk start going to either place I just tell myself that I am not going to think about that right now and I am going to focus on whatever the task at hand is. I am just going to take one more step towards my goal and not allow my thinking to go anywhere else. It has really helped me and I hope it does you too! And you are soooo right – self-awareness is the key! Only if I am aware of my thought patterns can I hope to change them. Thanks so much for this post!
10-02-2017 02:26 PM
Hey @Waltny groudning yourself in the present sounds like a really handy way to deal with negative self-talk, and i'm glad it's an approach that has helped you!
Best of luck with your business venture!
My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe