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Mod
Posts: 7,523
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

BPD diagnosis?

So I just got back from the doctors and I'm really overwhelmed. He saw my SH and then started asking me about how I get really upset and angry, and that combined with what he now knows about the abusive stuff made me think I know where this is going. Sure enough I get in the car and open the new referral letter I'm meant to give to my psych (because I have to know what people are saying about me Smiley Indifferent) and yup, he suspects I have BPD. I'm really pissed because from my mental health placements I know how much stigma there is regarding borderline clients even within the field. I even had to write a freaking essay about how difficult BPD clients can be and I got a HD for it. I'm upset and I hate my treating team and I want to SH again even though that's dumb and will just prove that they're right even more. It feels like a death sentence and I don't want this. Everything is too hard. Fuck this Smiley Sad

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 7,523
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: BPD diagnosis?

And the stupid part is he didn't tell me any of this. I'M NOT DUMB, I'VE TRAINED IN MENTAL HEALTH. I can figure out the reasoning behind your line of questioning. Keeping secrets from me just makes me more paranoid and upset Smiley Sad

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 12,847
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: BPD diagnosis?

Hey @lokifish can you try talking to him about why he didn't tell you?
What is something you can do now to help you relax?
Community Manager
Posts: 4,978
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: BPD diagnosis?

@lokifish

 

While there is a lot of stigma against BPD, it's changing and more and more professionals are realising that and working hard to help people recover. Yay!

 

BPD- like any diagnosis should not define a person, it should help people understand a person and what they need. 

 

But also I can totally see why you're pretty worried about it because the health system is still getting the hang of that last sentence, it's not a death sentance though!

 

I would say that BPD is a bit unusual because there is lots of stigma within the field, but it's almost unknown outside the field, despite it being very very common (like I reckon about 10%) and completely under-diagnosed.

 

The bigger question here i guess might be the scariness of being confronted with a new - possible-  diagnosis. A diagnosis is useful IF it helps you understand more about what's going on AND helps you find a way forward that makes life more awesome and worth living. Could this diagnosis be that for you, if you got the right people around you?

Mod
Posts: 7,523
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: BPD diagnosis?

@N1ghtW1ng I want to just die so I never have to deal with him or anyone else again. I'd say he probably didn't tell me because it's not the kind of diagnosis that you make lightly, and he wants my psych's opinion. And he probably knows I'd react pretty poorly like I am right now lol

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 12,847
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: BPD diagnosis?

Do you think your psych can give you some advice about this @lokifish?
How is your puzzle going? Could you do that or some colouring instead?
Mod
Posts: 7,523
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: BPD diagnosis?

@Ben-RO I guess it could be. It just feels like everyone's going to give up on me now, and I know that any professional I see in the future is now going to think differently of me once they see it written in my medical history. It'd at least be a way to explain to others why I'm so fucked up though. Even other people with mental health issues often struggle to understand how hard it is

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 7,523
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: BPD diagnosis?

@N1ghtW1ng he's hinted a few times that he thinks I have borderline traits, so I already know that he'll agree with my GP. The puzzle makes me more frustrated so I'm not doing that. I think I'll just put Netflix on and cry

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 12,847
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: BPD diagnosis?

Puzzles can be super frustrating at times. Netflix sounds like a wonderful idea @lokifish Smiley Happy Any shows in particular?
Mod
Posts: 7,523
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: BPD diagnosis?

@N1ghtW1ng been watching some more of Brooklyn 99. It's helped a tiny bit but I still feel dead on the inside

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.

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