07-04-2017 09:36 PM
Hey everyone! Just a quick warning that I'll be mentioning some disordered eating symptoms so just be careful and take care of yourselves
I've been struggling with eating lately - not to the extent that I think I have an eating disorder, but I'm definitely struggling with bingeing, purging, and food restriction to an extent. I've always had short periods like this, but this time it's lasted for a while and it's the first time I've used purging behaviours. I know heaps about how unhealthy these kinds of behaviours are but I can't seem to stop - I want to lose weight so that I pass better and people will like me more, and sometimes I just binge as a weird reverse punishment or because I feel so emotionally empty.
I've spoken about it with my counsellor and we've talked about having 'red lights' or warning signs that things are getting out of hand. I see her regularely so hopefully will be able to talk about it with her more.
I just feel like I'm trapping myself more and more into a pattern of illness, lying to people around me, and unhealthy coping I just want to eat normally but I can't. What do you think I should be doing to help prevent myself developing an eating disorder?
07-04-2017 09:47 PM
Hey @DruidChild as per usual AMAZING self awareness. You always blow me away with your standout level of self awareness, to start this thread in order to protect yourself and keep yourself healthy before this becomes a problem. Preventative approach, I love it.
Bringing it up with your counsellor is also a really good move. For me I think the main thing with eating patterns is keeping an eye on whether or not it is interfering with your day to day functioning. I had some ED issues when I was younger, this may sound like an out there suggestion but I read portia de rossi's book and it really changed my whole perspective on EDs and food. Really such a powerful book, and an easy read - have you checked it out ?
07-04-2017 09:55 PM
I'm sorry your struggling with this. As someone with an ED I can relate. It's good you're trying to put steps in place to prevent it getting worse.
Have you thought about talking with the butterfly foundation about what your going through, they are great and can help you more than I can.
The best way I've heard to stop binging is small regular meals so your body doesn't get too hungry. And the best way to stop purging is learning to sit with the horrible feelings after a binge and keep distracted.
That stuff is really hard especially because eating regularly is the opposite of what the disordered eating is telling you.
Have you tried losing weight in a more positive way or is your goal weight unreasonable? And is there other things you could do instead of b/p to cope with the emotions and thoughts behind it?
07-04-2017 10:01 PM
Haha thanks @Bree-RO My nursing subjects are always going on about preventing illness before it occurs so, ya know, it's rubbing off
Yeah basically I am keeping a close watch on it at the moment. My counsellor kind of said that I'm running orange lights at the moment, and to watch out for red lights, I want to get back to green lights all the way haha I'm really sorry to hear you've struggled with these issues. Tbh I checked out the book and it kinda seems like it's going to talk about her illness in a lot of detail? And I don't know if that's going to make it worse or better. But I love your suggestion of reading some stuff - I find science textbooks helpful because they focus on health and cellular functioning and stuff, rather than weight.
Thanks so much @redhead, I really appreciate hearing your perspective I'm sorry that ED issues are so tough on you. Those are really useful strategies for avoiding binges/purges, I will definitely try them out. And the butterfly foundation is a good resource to have!
Hmm, objectively my weight is reasonably healthy but I eat a lot of unhealthy food - maybe focusing on scaling up the health benefits of what I'm eating rather than reducing the intake would be an alternative?
07-04-2017 10:59 PM
As a fellow nursing student, I hear ya.
I can't say I really know much about the people side of eating disorders but maybe flag your foods that trigger off different responses - in particular purging so that you are aware of maybe each phase as it happens, take it to your counsellor and work backwards from there?
Also, try and keep yourself fuelled with something like sustagen if you can't avoid the triggers and do purge so that you still have something to go on. (Sorry if that seems like a bad thing to say.... )
08-04-2017 08:17 AM
Thanks @Nat8! Those are both really good suggestions - and that's not a bad thing to say at all with the sustagen, it's a good idea actually! I drink sustagen a lot when my depression gets bad and it's hard to eat so I don't see why it couldn't help here.
(And I ate breakfast today)
08-04-2017 02:42 PM
@DruidChild have you tried keeping to like a schedule
so maybe breakfast 2 hours later a snack then lunch then a snack and then dinner with 2-3 hour intervals
but keep to small meals that way your not hungry?
10-04-2017 12:25 PM
@scared01 thanks for the suggestion! That's kind of what I'm trying to do the last couple of days...eat breakfast when I get up, then eat lunch and dinner at certain times.
I ended up using ALL my unhealthy coping mechanisms yesterday *sigh of frustration* But I'm trying to do better today
10-04-2017 02:05 PM
thats good @DruidChild keep it up
just remember to use your positive coping mechanisms as well more so than the bad one, could you maybe make a coping strategies poster of the positive ones that work for you so you see that and remember those rather than just the bad ones?