05-03-2017 06:56 PM
It always gets worse at night though. Like during the day I can force myself to keep occupied but after about 6 things start declining again. I hate it. I want to be ok, but everything in my head is screaming to do bad things even the Beings and I have no idea where Michelle (my good one) has gone.
And then I keep getting images of my Nov suicide attempt in my head and it's like my body/brain wants it again. I almost died and some reason that thrilling, or maybe I just deserve to die.
05-03-2017 07:58 PM
Hey @redhead I was just reading your earlier posts. I'm really sorry it has been so difficult for you. It sounds like there are some very real challenges with being at home even if it's great. Is there anyone at home with you tonight?
05-03-2017 08:22 PM
@redhead is it possible to have someone come over tonight? I'm really concerned about your safety. Are there things you do that help you when you feel like this? You said you can find enough things to distract yourself during the day but it gets harder in the evening. Is there something you could do again now that you've done earlier?
If you're feeling really unsafe, then call SCBS or your crisis team. It's totally okay to ask for support.
05-03-2017 08:40 PM
@redhead can you try SCBS again? Hopefully you'll get through to them this time. Your crisis team should be around to help as well? Please let me know if that's not the case. It's really important that you stay safe readhead. Your wellbeing matters a great deal and it's extremely important that you get in touch with the right kind of support for this.
05-03-2017 10:00 PM
@redhead okay that's good you got through to KHL and thanks for explaining the situation with crisis team. For some reason I thought they were on for longer.
How are you doing now? I hope your chat with KHL was supportive.