20-01-2017 09:05 PM
It's great that you were able to be open with your case worker about your sexuality; I hope she was supportive. One of the mods has probably suggested this already, but could 1800RESPECT be a good place to chat with about the bullying and sexual assault that you experienced? (I'm incredibly sorry that that happened to you by the way )
I can relate to feeling different because of my gender/sexuality. It can be confronting to talk about this stuff. You're not alone with struggling and we're here for you!
20-01-2017 09:12 PM
@DruidChild it was only minor the sexual assault incident, I shouldn't be upset by it (school and family didn't care). I think the sexual harassment stuff two years ago was more confronting for me.
What if this gets brought up at my appointment Monday, the sexuality stuff? (my case manager is making me see the psychiatrist with her)
What if my family find out that I'm different?
20-01-2017 09:17 PM
I'm trying really hard to think of ways of combatting dysphoria but I'm coming up pretty blank...anyone have ideas? I wanna find ways that I can express my gender while not being out. I wanna stop spinning with anxiety whenever I look in the mirror because I look wrong and I hate myself but do I hate myself enough. I want to walk down the street looking like me, not some chubby girl wearing her older brother's hand me downs. I...just...the anxiety of this was really getting me down today. I just want to hide Or hurt myself. That works too.
20-01-2017 09:17 PM
20-01-2017 09:19 PM
20-01-2017 09:22 PM
You can't always control the way you react to things @loves netball, you have every right to care about what happened to you, it is not okay that it happened to you or that your school and family didn't care. That's really tough, having to deal with it alone I can understand that sexual harassment would be incredibly upsetting and impactful; 1800respect might be able to chat about that with you, too, if you feel like it's more confronting right now.
How would you feel if the sexuality stuff was brought up with the psych? If you're uncomfortable, could you let your cm know that your sexuality isn't something you're ready to share with anyone else just yet?
I want to keep chatting with you @loves netball, but I'm just mindful that talking about this stuff sometimes makes you quite upset and I know the weekend might be a tough time anyway...is this a good time for you to chat about this? Or would you rather press pause on the convo? Up to you
20-01-2017 09:28 PM
haha coffee @Bree-RO (I like the flavoured milk version because it's full of sugar; hence real = gross for me)
@DruidChild are you going to be safe tonight?
@Bree-RO it happened like 10 years ago - it's half the reason I am disgusted by any sort of sexual activity.
It happened at school and students were doing it to each other so I wasn't alone. It happened twice to me by the same person and it only stopped because I told. Around the same time, others use to intimidate me by using all these sexual terms I was unfamiliar with at the time.
@DruidChild you're probably right - I just need to get it out to someone who isn't going to brush it off, by saying that was terrible, but it happened, move on...
20-01-2017 09:29 PM
Thanks for the link @Bree-RO, I've called them before though and they are always unhelpful with dysphoria stuff I think a lot of the counsellors are gay or lesbian (which is awesome!) but I don't get the picture any of the people I've talked to have much experience with dysphoria. The advice I get is always 'go to Twenty10, get a binder, join some queer group or other.'
20-01-2017 09:34 PM
@DruidChild Would you like me to pull up some mini research on services more local to you that may be able to assist? I know that it can be really hard and it may take some time but you will get there, absolutely. Let me know if you'd like me to find some further resource for you