10-05-2017 09:17 PM
Hello, I'm new to these forums, but a friend recommended it to me to get some help.
Basically, my issue is that I'm feeling super stressed right now. Everything in my life is piling up and I just feel very down. My dad is basically the centre of all this. My dad isn't the best when it comes to negotiating with others, he's very naggy and can be a real pain. He wants us to move from Australia to England, he wants us to go stay in an apartment he bought near the church (Very christian strong family) every week end and I've got to study, do homework and do my other activities like soccer on week ends. He's also very demanding when it comes to grades, apparently 90% isn't good enough. I also recently began french and I've been doing an accelerated course, and it's really been adding to my homework load. I know you're going to say, ''Why don't you talk to him?'', it's simple... When ever my mum, my sister and I try and talk to him, he will just get mad, start shouting and repeat the same thing over and over again, he's not very accepting of any other ideas and it's either his way or no way, no matter what. My mum has also been annoying by my dad, but I don't know what to do. At the same time, with all of this accumulating, I haven't been able to sleep well for the past week. When ever I get in bed, it takes me an hour or more till I start falling asleep.
I really need some help, or some motivation, thank you.
10-05-2017 09:42 PM
Hey @AfricanVooDoo welcome to the forums!
I really feel for you, sounds like a lot to contend with as your Dad kind of makes all the rules. Do you sort of feel like he makes these rules in his own interests and not so much the family's interests, or am I wrong?
I definitely would be feeling stressed if I were in the situation you're in as well... And the accelerated course - wow! Sounds like you're super academic.
There's definitely a couple of services you could use that would be helpful. The first one I want to recommend is Kids Helpline, which is totally confidential and offers online chat here. I also wonder if you have a school counsellor or teacher you could approach? What are your thoughts on that?
10-05-2017 10:04 PM
I guess my dad wants the best for us, but he's doing it in the completely wrong way. I'm not really sure about using help lines, I just need some motivation and words that can calm me or get me feeling better.
10-05-2017 10:17 PM
Hi and welcome to the forums @AfricanVooDoo
Sounds like a pretty tough situation to be in
I know its not just as simple as 'talk to him' cause i have a mother like that and i know its not just as easy as that.
Your study load is alot to take and i just finished my course and thats very challanging to juggle betweem work home and study so again not alone in that part either
Well done for reaching out btw very brave of you and shows alot of courage.
While im.not too sure i can help fix your relationship or your moving situation i can give you some stress anxiety and sleep techniques to reduce the feelings of stress and overwhelming while also relaxing yourself for sleep if you would like some help with that?
11-05-2017 09:57 AM
I wish I had of known about KidsHelpline when I was going through high school. It can help so much just to tell someone what is going on and it is totally understandable that you are feeling this way, especially with a father figure who seems to dominate the family.
My advice for performing up the grades expectations, just do your best, that is all anyone can ask of you. And if you don't perform up to your father's expectation, it is not the end of the world, and there is more to life than academics. If you feel you are putting pressure on yourself because of the pressure from your father, it would definitely be worth letting a teacher know. They will be able to help you plan and manage your time. I know when I was going through a very similar thing in school, I had lots of anxiety and depression over it and as soon as I spoke to my teachers I got help. I got breaks from class, time to relax and still got all my academic work done.
I found it is also good to look at homework by the quality of work you do, not the quantity of time you spend doing it. And prioritise what is most important to complete, and whether you can get away with not doing some things that may not actually be that important to do.
It sounds like you may need a break from the pressure you're currently under. Have some you time.
14-05-2017 02:45 PM
You said you were wanting to become more motivated - is that in relation to study? Or more just generally through all aspects of life?