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Registered: ‎18-05-2017

I'm in love with a a person who is an addict

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HELP! I've been dating my boyfriend for almost two years now and he has been struggling with a drug addiction.  When we first started dating I had no idea; obviously or i would not have gotten involved. He had told me he struggled with it in the past and was on certain meds to help the situation which I delt with and he promised to get off them eventually. I honestly do think he was clean when we first got together but who knows anymore. 

 

Time and time again i've been lied to as he relapses. I've stuck by his side hoping i can help him get through it and to be there for him. He's done rehab  and really at this point i dont know what else we can do. Currently he is trying to switch back to to a different medication so that he can get some kind of shot or implant that will not allow him to get high. Everytime he does this he just gets crazy, violent and i know its the drugs making him say these mean things but its hard for me to put that past me.

 

He's broken things ( 2 tvs, vases, plates, xbox) as well as being physically abusive; also verbal threats and name calling all out of anger when he is coming down i guess or trying to switch. He relies on his parents for money, has no job, and lives at home at 28 years old. Why am i even in love with this guy. I wish i could just step away from the situation and not care. other than his parents who know of the situation as well i have no one to talk to, no one who understands. I've never been around a drug like this or others who share the same issue. I want to help but i just don't know what to do anymore. He convienced me to also move into his parents guest house with him until we can both get back on our feet assuring and promising me that he was clean and get a place of his own except he has yet to even look for a job and come to find out he didn't even tell his parents (luckly they love me). I'm just lost... I don't know what to do anymore. 

 

 Any words of advice or wisdom from a similar or previous experience would be much appreciated!

 

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Community Manager
Posts: 5,356
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: I'm in love with a a person who is an addict

Hey @venice, This sounds like an incredibly tough and challenging relationship i can also hear how much you care about your boyfriend despite what you have experienced because of his addiction and some of the super tough things you have experienced.

 

The choice about what to do next has to be yours. However I am pretty worried for you as it's never okay to be physically or verbally abused. I encourage you to contact 1800 RESPECT and make sure you have options for keeping safe and thinking about what to do and where to go if you don't feel safe.

 

I also encourage you to have a chat with Relationships Australia as they can help you decide what to do and support you in that decision. Whether that be staying, going or somewhere in between. Relationships Australia can work with you or you and your partner to figure out what's next.

 

And one last place for your partner's family to check out (although you can chat to them too). Family drug support can help your partner's parents find the resources and support they need to support you and your partner and hopefully understand what they can do to help him work towards recovery.

 

Let us know how you go with all that. I'll keep an eye out for other members who have had similar experiences and send them your way.

 

 

Oh and one last thing. We generally don't mention specific drugs or methods of harm, a lot of people here have survived or are recovering from experiences involving this and it can set things off for them. You're definitely not in trouble or anything, just a heads up Smiley Happy

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