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Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

The memories won't stop playing in my head and I can't stop crying and it hurts too much, I need to die I can't do this

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,036
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

Hey @lokifish sounds really hard, sending you an email.

Community Manager
Posts: 233
Registered: ‎08-12-2016

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

That makes perfect sense @lokifish To my ears it sounds like you've found an effective way to get the overwhelming stuff into smaller, more manageable chunks while also working out what you're not up for. Which is amazing. Having a sense of yourself and knowing what you are and are not up for is an incredible amount of wisdom and insight.

 

Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

@Ngaio-RO yeah it's been hard because people keep telling me to try it but a lot of the time it was actually triggering more panic Smiley Sad but by approaching it from a different angle it does seem to help a little

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Community Manager
Posts: 233
Registered: ‎08-12-2016

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

I know it's a seperate thread @lokifish but I wonder if getting your hands on a copy of The Tao of Pooh might be helpful. I don't know if you've ever explored the Taoist or Buddhist writings but they are very much about training the mind. They focus on thoughts rather than feelings, the theory being you can't control your feelings but you can control your thoughts.

 

The analogy they use is, if you walk into a darkened room and see a coil of rope but in the dark it appears like a coiled snake so you think "there's a snake" it is impossible not to feel fear. You can't perceive the snake and then tell yourself not to feel fearful. If you're afraid of snakes, you're going to be afraid. BUT if you think, "I will turn on the light and see what this is " and then discover it is just a coil of rope, then the feelings are different.

 

Which to me is so very similar to your approach of thinking "this is just my brain telling me I'm useless." to alter your emotional response to that.

 

Anyway, these are all just ideas I'm throwing on your pile. As far as I'm concerned, anything you're doing today that's being kind to you is amazing. 

Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

@Ngaio-RO that analogy makes perfect sense actually. I've read a few books by the Dalai Lama and although I'm an atheist I have massive respect for him and what he has to say. I just did a Google search and found a (probably not exactly legal Smiley Tongue) copy of The Tao of Pooh so I might have a read of it Smiley Happy

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Community Manager
Posts: 233
Registered: ‎08-12-2016

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

I have a feeling you're gonna love how much wisdom is drawn from the beautiful friendship between Pooh and Piglet.

 

And from one athiest to another @lokifish I've always found that I can apply the learning without having to 'drink any coolaid' Cat Tongue

Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

@Ngaio-RO yeah I like that he doesn't try and convert others and acknowledges that there's no one "right" way of believing and living. The world needs more people who are tolerant and accepting of others.

 

Anyway now that I'm home I have no energy and want to start crying Smiley Sad

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 1,623
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

Hey @lokifish, hope you don't mind me jumping into the conversation. The Tao of Pooh sounds like an awesome book. I'm going to Google it right after I post this! Smiley Very Happy

 

Sorry to hear you've not gut much energy at the moment. If you feel like crying, it might be helpful to let yourself have that cry for a bit, and then try to pick yourself up after that. What do you reckon?

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My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Mod
Posts: 8,318
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: I'm so messed up (TW: abuse)

@letitgo nah all good! I read the first few pages this morning and it seems pretty cool Smiley Happy

 

I haven't been able to cry so now I'm wanting to move on to hurting myself. Watching some Furchester Hotel and cuddling my teddies to try and help

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.

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