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Frequent scribe
Posts: 119
Registered: ‎08-02-2017

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

I dont feel very strong or worth it Smiley Sad

I usually read a book for a little while before bed and listen to some music.

I have chronic insomnia so even on a good night i only get about 4-5 hrs sleep

But its after i put the book away that the thoughts come and on most nights nightmares take over
Super star contributor
Posts: 2,212
Registered: ‎28-05-2016

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

You ARE worth it and you sound pretty strong to me @Bellababe Smiley Happy But I know that sometimes it's hard to believe that; remember that it's okay to hurt and you especially deserve care when you're feeling down. 

 

A book and music sounds really really nice and soothing; is there anything you could do to stop the thoughts taking over once you finish reading? Would listening to music or doing some visualisation while you try to go off to sleep help at all? 

 

I hope you can get some sleep.

Frequent scribe
Posts: 119
Registered: ‎08-02-2017

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

Yes very hard to believe @DruidChild

Well by the time i tutn everything off its usually about 12 30ish. I use my phone and headphones as i share a room at the moment but i don't like going to bed with earphones in.

Ive tried to do deep breathing while im in bed after ive turned everything off but after abit the thoughts come back.
Super star contributor
Posts: 2,212
Registered: ‎28-05-2016

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

I'm sorry it's so hard tonight @Bellababe Smiley Sad

 

It sounds like you've got a good routine going with your music and some deep breathing! That's awesome Smiley Happy But I know thoughts can be really hard to challenge. Would you feel up to challenging or reframing anxious thoughts? Or, do you have a cuddly toy or comfort object that you could cuddle when you're in bed? I am all for the healing power of stuffed animals Smiley Happy Ooor what about a mantra or a sentence that you could use to remind yourself that you're safe? 

 

@Bree-RO I wondered if maybe you have some more suggestions? I don't have much experience with insomnia I'm sorry. 

Frequent scribe
Posts: 119
Registered: ‎08-02-2017

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

Its hard all the time. All day. And most the night @DruidChild

I really struggle all the time and it really sucks the life out if me. I feel very dead inside and have resorted to self hsrm a fair few times as ive found nothing at the time to be helpful in calming the anxiety.

Ive never came up with a mantra as my thoughts still continue to overtake it or i turn to challange the mantra! like what the heck who does that!!!??

Mod Squad
Posts: 1,210
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

Hey @Bellababe and @DruidChild Hmmm the night time can be quite challenging.

 

I have trained myself to enjoy sleeping with headphones but can only play certain kinds of audio such as this - 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyw5kFwoIgY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJjc4XreJSQ

 

However if you don't like headphones I definitely find focusing on something really helpful, a positive thought or a passion of yours. Something you enjoy that makes you smile etc. Reading is also an absolute gem.

 

As @DruidChild mentioned do you find any comfort in stuffed animals?

Frequent scribe
Posts: 119
Registered: ‎08-02-2017

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

I dont really have stuffed toys etc esp not that i sleep with @Bree-RO

Sometimes when im really enjoying the book ill think about what will happen in the next chapter which can help for a while.
Mod
Posts: 1,111
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

hey @Bellababe I sometimes imagine what'll happen in the next chapter of a book too, or the next episode of a tv show. Glad you sometimes find it helpful.

I also think that mantras can be helpful and I totally get the urge to challenge it with your thoughts. When I realised my tendency to do that, I actually typed out the mantra and stuck it on my desk, where I could see it as I was lying in bed. When my thoughts were intruding, I would make myself read the mantra aloud from the bit of paper until there was nothing else in my head. It often took quite a while but it does calm me down. Could you try something like that? 

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Frequent scribe
Posts: 119
Registered: ‎08-02-2017

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

Oh thats a good idea... i can hang it next to my bed or put it somewhere where i can see it while im in bed
Frequent scribe
Posts: 119
Registered: ‎08-02-2017

Re: Not doing well at all!! Help!

This was a nightmare i had a few nights ago. I journal most dreams that i have.

So this one was:::

I walked into a pound and was walking around there looking for a puppy to rescue. One of the workers there said "here ill show you this dog" so i followed him into what looked like an intertogation room where the people on the other side cant see you but you can see and hear them . On the other side was a young girl and i began to wonder what was going on amd it was starting to worry me. I really wanted to get out of thr room but the worker was standing in front of the door. Another worker opened a shoot and let a large dog through there. The dog just trotted in and looked friendly. It went up to the girl who was wondering around and she turned to pat it when it came up to her but the dog launched and began attacking her. I couldnt get out of the room and i was forced to watch this girl get mauled to shreds. You could see her internal organs and teeth streaks down her arm legs and face and was hardley recognisable there was blood everywhere! I heard her screams her crying her pain pierced me and her yelling help help and the dog growling and snarling..

I couldnt wake up out of this dream very quickly but eventually when i did break out of it i didnt go backto sleep and was having a very major anxiety attack.

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