03-01-2017 05:21 PM
09-03-2017 09:20 PM
@j95 when you're feeling small what about some gentle distractions? You could try writing about it and sharing the piece with us? Or what about something more relaxed.. Look up wishlist surfboards/cuddle pups etc?
I know it's hard sitting with these memories, but I do see each day you sifting through this pain more and more in a positive way
09-03-2017 09:41 PM
@j95 would love you to share it once you've written it Maybe a thread would be cool too so we can all learn about your story and may encourage other members to start writing stuff too
09-03-2017 10:05 PM - last edited on 09-03-2017 10:45 PM by Bree-RO
I wasn't going to share this but I decided to @Bree-RO
I need you to stop hurting me.
I want you to pick me up and hug me.
I need you to tell me you love me.
I want you encourage me.
I need to feel loved and safe.
You are hurting me harder than last night. I can hear mum yelling the background, she's swearing at the kids. The room is spinning, I feel like I can breathe. It hurts.
Please stop hurting me.
I want to push you away, I want you to stop this but I can't I'm too small. You're too strong and I can't fight it. You keep going and I can no longer stand up, it hurts too much. Please stop making me feel so small, please don't stand over me and tell me I'm useless.
I can smell the alcohol on you and it's making me feel even sicker.
I'm numb, I can't even feel the places that you hurt me anymore. And the shoe that you used will go back to its spot on the step and we'll redo this whole thing.
Tomorrow the numbess will fade and it'll turn into stinging bruises and we'll do it all again.
I can't breathe, I need to stand up strong for my brothers and sisters and I can't. I need to fight for them because you will get to them soon, please don't hurt them. I'll stand in the way. I'm not letting you touch them, I'm protecting them, if I think I'm going to die trying.
I have to hold this family together. You can't hurt them.
I need you to love me. I need you to protect me like I'm protecting them.
Please tell me you love me, please keep me safe.