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Builder
Posts: 16,295
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Patterns of relating

Hey @loves netball I remember there was a thread on RO and a few of us did that survey, it was about 2 years ago I think. It would interesting to see if mine have changed since then.
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 16,295
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Patterns of relating

feeling pretty damn small tonight Smiley Sad
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 16,295
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Patterns of relating

Tonight I'm feeling really small and I'm struggling with how to feel better
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,043
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Patterns of relating

@j95 when you're feeling small what about some gentle distractions? You could try writing about it and sharing the piece with us? Or what about something more relaxed.. Look up wishlist surfboards/cuddle pups etc?

 

I know it's hard sitting with these memories,  but I do see each day you sifting through this pain more and more in a positive way Smiley Happy 

Builder
Posts: 16,295
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Patterns of relating

I think I might write something I hope that's ok if I decided to share when I'm done @Bree-RO
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,043
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Patterns of relating

@j95 would love you to share it once you've written it Smiley Happy Maybe a thread would be cool too so we can all learn about your story and may encourage other members to start writing stuff too Heart

Builder
Posts: 16,295
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Patterns of relating

I'm worried it might be a bit full on but I'm not sure @Bree-RO
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,043
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Patterns of relating

That is okay mate, see how you go; if you leave out any method it should be sweet Smiley Happy Looking forward to reading, no rush though of course.. Super proud of ya.

Builder
Posts: 16,295
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Patterns of relating

[ Edited ]

I wasn't going to share this but I decided to @Bree-RO

I need you to stop hurting me.
I want you to pick me up and hug me.
I need you to tell me you love me.
I want you encourage me.
I need to feel loved and safe.

You are hurting me harder than last night. I can hear mum yelling the background, she's swearing at the kids. The room is spinning, I feel like I can breathe. It hurts.
Please stop hurting me.
I want to push you away, I want you to stop this but I can't I'm too small. You're too strong and I can't fight it. You keep going and I can no longer stand up, it hurts too much. Please stop making me feel so small, please don't stand over me and tell me I'm useless.
I can smell the alcohol on you and it's making me feel even sicker.
I'm numb, I can't even feel the places that you hurt me anymore. And the shoe that you used will go back to its spot on the step and we'll redo this whole thing.
Tomorrow the numbess will fade and it'll turn into stinging bruises and we'll do it all again.
I can't breathe, I need to stand up strong for my brothers and sisters and I can't. I need to fight for them because you will get to them soon, please don't hurt them. I'll stand in the way. I'm not letting you touch them, I'm protecting them, if I think I'm going to die trying.
I have to hold this family together. You can't hurt them.
I need you to love me. I need you to protect me like I'm protecting them.
Please tell me you love me, please keep me safe.






//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,043
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Patterns of relating

@j95

 

Thanks for sharing that, really amazing.  

 

How do you feel after writing that?

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