24-04-2017 07:53 PM
ive tried many different helplines and ive only actually been helped a few times
but most of the time they just say to keep using the distractions and coping strategies that ive been using and to speak to my psychologist
wow what a great help- if i was doing that and it was helping me i wouldnt have rung now would i?
wondering what others experiences are?
24-04-2017 08:48 PM
Hiya @scared01 good thread it seems to be a recurring topic at the moment on RO. I guess it's important to hear all sides on this one but I would like to clear up something about helplines in order to help out a little.
Helplines such as KHL, SCBS Lifeline etc aim to provide a (generally) single session crisis support. This means, they're available to help you stay safe in the here and now. It's very person centered and present, and I know at times probably seems quite simple and repetitive however these services have a job to make sure you are safe in the moment of distress.
The reason they recommend you unpack the heavier, ongoing stuff with your face to face counsellor is because your regular counsellor is able to get stuck into ongoing solutions in detail. Your regular counsellor will also have the rapport with you that is required to get into underlying stuff, whereby the helpline counsellors (even though they're qualified) primary role is to make sure you can stay safe in the moment of distress.
I hope that waffle makes sense I would definitely recommend everyone shop around for a good ongoing counsellor because this is where the key progress happens in my view. What are everyone else's thoughts on finding the right ongoing counsellor @DruidChild @safari93 @May_?
24-04-2017 08:51 PM
24-04-2017 09:24 PM
@scared01 I'm sorry that helplines aren't really working for you at the moment It must be really frustrating to keep reaching out (which is such a brave thing to do!) and not receive the support you need.
For me I've been lucky to find good face to face therapists but it took a while! I must have seen about 7 psychologists/counsellors/youth workers (not to mention the many, many helpline counsellors!) by now The stuff that I've found is:
- youth services (like KHL) are way more helpful than generic adult services (like Lifeline). I'm sure that's not true for everyone, but personally I've found that people who are used to working with young people seem to be more respectful and non judgemental towards me.
- if the person you're talking to doesn't take your problems seriously just don't bother honestly. It took me three goes to find a counsellor who was willing to say 'yes you have a serious problem here is where to go to get ongoing help.' You can always hang up, wait a few minutes, then call again.
- most youth services are totally happy to take on self-referrals, if you call a headspace centre or a youth health service and ask for help they'll usually try to help and you won't need like a million doctor's notes to 'prove' that you've been appropriately referred. If you're really distressed and you're able to access a service like that nearby you could try contacting them/walking in and asking for some support instead of a helpline?
- helplines and online services don't work for everyone. I've tried every helpline in the book and some of them have never helped me in a significant way, in fact, they often make me feel worse. But there are heaps of options for finding support! Keep trying @scared01, you can get there and we'll always be here for you as well.
27-04-2017 10:48 AM
27-04-2017 01:22 PM
@scared01 there's this saying i really like:
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
Although it should be "give a person a fish..."
Anyway, I am going to give a you a gentle nudge to have a go, and then I'm heaps happy to help you on top of that. But i want to teach you to fish because i know you'll be great at it ! If that makes sense...
10-05-2017 03:35 AM
11-05-2017 01:55 PM
When I first called KHL, I had no idea what I was doing and I was so scared. It took me ages before I really opened up to my phone counselor. I would call at least once a week to speak to my regular phone counselor, and in between when my counselor was not on, I would try and talk to someone else. I still remain in contact with my phone counselor and it has been just over 3 years now.
My first ever reach out was my school teacher who straight away referred me to headspace where I met a fantastic health nurse for my eating problem and then I got further referred to a psychologist who was amazing and helped me understand my anxiety so much. Then I was referred to a mental health nurse who I had/have regular sessions with to help me deal with my anxiety/depression as I was suicidal and self-harming, not eating properly, leaving home and dealing with difficult family/relationship problems.
For me, these services have been vital because I didn't have the support from family or close friends who really understood the way I was feeling and coping. I had nowhere to go and was couch surfing at friends. It was really important that I had their guidance without the judgement.