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Mod
Posts: 2,085
Registered: ‎20-11-2013

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

How might perfectionism become a negative thing?

 

I agree with @cupcakes_032, sometimes that idea of perfection can wind up being paralyzing rather that pushing me forward. I feel like a lot of it is linked to negative self talk, like when perfect turns from being "this is what I can't strive for" into "this is what I can never reach".

Mod
Posts: 900
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

@cupcakes_032 I really relate to this, this feeling ive some how come to with Uni is a very new thing. Up until this year really ive been the person that procrastinates which i guess is a fight or flight response to this fear that i will never reach the end of thre rainbow or the task just seems so enormous. Like, if its not going to be perfect why bother? Sort of thing. It can deifnitely have the opposite effect which is tough.

 

@khaleesi_18 yeah I know, things just become relative. It almost becomes a self-care thing where its like, for my MH i really just need to get this done and put it away. I know ill probably be disappointed with the outcome but this is the best I can do. Which is a really tough call to make!

Builder
Posts: 568
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

 

I totally get where you are coming from @cupcakes_032 - it''s the "all or nothing" take on life.

 

How might perfectionism become a negative thing?

 

If you are constantly setting goals that are unattainable, but you don't realise this, you are just setting yourself up for failure. If perfection doesn't exist, you are bound to feel disappointed and not good enough. 

Based on the point raised on perfect scores (i.e. 100% in a test etc.), I think this is quite silly. Even marked tests are subjective and no answer is going to be 100% correct - It can't if perfect doesn't exist.

 
 
Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

@cupcakes_032 I agree I procrastinate because of family pressure and I fear things won't end up "perfect" e.g. I put off uni assignments now out of fear of failing so then I do end up failing. I let others define what perfect needs to be for me and I shouldn't because I am me NOT someone else

Mod
Posts: 501
Registered: ‎27-02-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

Restrictive sounds like the right word @cupcakes_032. If anything, it can even push is backwards if we're constantly too focused on achieving perfection. Kind of like working on an assignment until the last minute and then not turning it in because it doesn't sound "perfect" enough.
Mod
Posts: 720
Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

How might perfectionism become a negative thing?

 

Yup I completely agree with everyone that ideas of perfectionism can be very de-motivating, and I've definitely had that experience (especially with uni assignments/my thesis last year...!)

 

Wanting things to be perfect can sometimes cause us to put heaps of pressure and expectations on ourselves that might not be achievable. Perfectionism can also impact on self confidence and self esteem/self worth, and again that's where it's important to have some coping strategies just in case things don't quite go as planned.

Mod
Posts: 501
Registered: ‎27-02-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

That sounds very true @Alison5. I guess somehow perfectionism might not be purely our own belief like we might want to believe but a mixture of other's expectations as well, like @loves netball said. Well...except for maths tests I guess *shudders*
Builder
Posts: 568
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

Sorry everyone, but I will have to leave this GR here (not feeling too well).

I look forward to reading your responses later.

 

Good night

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

@RevzZ maths is good only right or wrong answers

Mod
Posts: 148
Registered: ‎17-10-2016

Re: But it has to be purrrrfect!

@loves netball i agree, i think it's easier if we can define things for ourselves so that it makes more sense for us (and less stressful!)

 

@RevzZ yeah i feel disappointed in myself when i hand an assignment that doesn't feel 'good enough'... maybe perfectionism can sometimes be linked to our self worth and how we feel about ourselves?

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