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Mod
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Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

@Asche absolutely, having timely access to services can really make a difference. It sounds like your experiences allow you to have lots of insight into the help seeking process, which is a valuable thing!

 

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

It can be really frustrating and disheartening to feel like you haven't been heard, or like the other person is making assumptions or speaking over the top of you.

Builder
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Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

[ Edited ]

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

The first time I ever tried to seek help in a face to face context I found the wait time unbearable, it was definitely more than a few weeks - even though that isn't really the counsellors fault, it still wasn't great and eventually I decided I couldn't wait for it so I didn't go. I did eventually get around to getting help a couple of years later and I didn't really feel safe or comfortable, I don't think that was a reflection of the professional or myself but we just didn't go together very well so I gave up.

I've also tried some of those online services which have been great to me at times but also can be quite unsupportive of me and refuse to help because I have finished accessing that service and have been attending face to face like they wanted me to so there isn't a lot of after hours stuff unless its crisis support so that sucks and really limits my options. 

 

//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod
Posts: 8,001
Registered: ‎14-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

I've actually mentioned the outcome of a particularly bad experience in the question above. It was pretty early in my help seeking days, I had just started with a trauma counsellor and second session in, I felt went really well, until I walked outside and fell apart. It took me the rest of the week to put myself back together. I brought it up with the counsellor in my next session, so she made a note in her diary to ring me a day after every session.

 

So don't be afraid to raise your concerns and share how things went after you left your sessions.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
Builder
Posts: 16,322
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

I has sort of felt like this is happening....

service 1: sorry we cant support you cause we finished up working with you but you can go to service 2
service 2: sorry we cant support you we have finished with you and you're getting face to face support now, go to service 3
service 3: sounds like you might need someone to talk to on a regular basis, have you tried service 1 or service 2?
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 1,861
Registered: ‎01-12-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

Some unhelpful things that I've experienced are: 

  • Having zero connection with the person I'm talking to. Could've been better by finding someone else Smiley Tongue I don't think there's any way around this one, but it seems to be really common.
  • Being misinterpreted. Please have your sarcasm detector in a serviceable condition. Could've been better if I could figure out how to clarify what I mean, and maybe if they ask more questions if they're not sure what I mean.
  • Being given generic "this seems like your first rodeo" responses. Maybe could've been better if I'd given them a bit of a backstory first.
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Mod
Posts: 172
Registered: ‎25-08-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

[ Edited ]

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

I was going to say "No"...but then I realized that my first experience of seeking help was actually approaching my parents, rather than approaching a counsellor, or GP. I think the main thing that made it unhelpful was that they ultimately had no idea what to do, and as a result, pretty much had zero follow-through on most, if not all the occasions I sought help from them. Sure, they could hug me and listen as I wept and cried (sometimes for hours), but if nothing changed after all these chats and conversations, then what was the point? I actually felt like I was starting to lose it after a little while, because there'd be a weird sense of deja vu every day as everyone stuck to their same habits and routines, despite the fact that I'd made it clear that I was very not okay just the night before, like it'd never happened!

 

This might've been "fine" if I were approaching say, a crisis helpline where lack of continuity is to be expected since you're likely to be talking to someone different everytime, but if we're talking about help-seeking from friends, parents, counsellors, etc., then there really should be a sense that something is being done, even if we're not really sure what that "thing" is yet. Unless someone is literally a toddler, object permanence shouldn't be a barrier to providing support.

 

Edit: I can understand why it happens, though. Knowledge of mental illness (and particularly how to treat/alleviate it) can be really sparse, and most people just aren't comfortable with providing support on a consistent basis- so it becomes easier to just pretend it doesn't exist until someone has an "episode" again. I don't fault/blame anyone for letting it happen, it just sucks that it does. Smiley Frustrated

Community Manager
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Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

 

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

 

Actually i have been pretty lucky, although working as a mental health advocate for a lot of years, i saw some less than ideal examples of people not being helped. Almost always it was because of services that were veeeery overworked and just missing some of the important things that support help, like explaining the process, making sure the person felt heard etc

Builder
Posts: 1,861
Registered: ‎01-12-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

@j95 yeah I totally know what you mean on that one with the service shuttle bus.
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Builder
Posts: 16,322
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Question four...

 

Does the fear of a bad experience put you off seeking help? What are some ways to combat this fear?

//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 16,322
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

the service shuttle bus sounds about right @Bay52VU and it just takes you on the same frustrating trip over and over
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
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