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Mod
Posts: 717
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Hello everyone! Sorry I am a bit late... Smiley Very Happy

 

What are some of your expectations when seeking help? This can be if you've done it many times before or even just thinking about getting some help for the first time.

I think I personally had expectations that seeking help would just magically solve all my problems. But unfortunately therapy is not magic - it's a human trying to help another human to help themselves when you break it down. So I guess it is important to try to manage exceedingly high expectations and to be aware that you have an active role to play in the helping process. 

 

Have you had a good experience seeking help? What made it good? 

Yes - for me having someone to tell me everything is going to be okay and to challenge my negative thoughts is really helpful. I like solution-focused and strengths-based approaches (Eg practical things to try that might help and when they draw attention to your strenths and achievements).

 

Have you had a not so great experience with seeking help? What do you think made it unhelpful? How could the experience have been made better?

Yes - when they do not listen to what works for you and what doesn't work for you. It is very important for psychologists to listen to clients and find out what will work best for them.

 

Mod
Posts: 7,957
Registered: ‎14-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Maybe that can be a special discussion since it is world MH day and MH month and MH week! @Ben-RO

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
Builder
Posts: 1,861
Registered: ‎01-12-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Does the fear of a bad experience put you off seeking help? What are some ways to combat this fear?

Absolutely... Fear or expectation.

Ways to combat the fear might be to research your options, get advice from other people who have sought help (particularly like on RO where people can explain what happened when they tried getting help from certain places), maybe take it in small steps (e.g. you could tell a friend first if that's easier, then get their help to tell your parents, and then get your parents help to contact your GP... etc.)

 

Ways to combat the expectation... Well... I guess it goes back to gathering actual evidence from either trying it yourself or first hand accounts from people who have tried it.

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Mod
Posts: 717
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

[ Edited ]

Does the fear of a bad experience put you off seeking help?

Sometimes but not really because I have seen quite a few different people. I can definitely imagine it would be really scary if you had never seen anybody before though.

 

What are some ways to combat this fear?

To remind yourself that every counsellor/psychologist/social worker is different and it might take some time to find one that you can connect and work well with. Also to remember that if you hated the experience you do not have to go back or ever see the them again.

 

MOST IMPORTANTLY to remember that you are seeking help for yourself and you deserve it Heart

Community Manager
Posts: 4,872
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Oooh that's a very good point @stonepixie! Definitely keen to make sure that this is a need that we meet for people, if it's something that people feel like they need support with! 

Mod
Posts: 7,957
Registered: ‎14-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Now that we have discussed bad experiences it is time to move onto our next Q

How do you know when its time to find someone new? If you've done this how'd you go about it?


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
Mod
Posts: 720
Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

@Bay52VU seeking help can seem like quite a daunting task, so taking small steps can really help to break it down. Services like RO (and discussions like this one!) are fantastic - sharing experiences and being heard by others can definitely help. There are lots of people that are there to support you.

Mod
Posts: 7,957
Registered: ‎14-04-2014

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

Better late than never @May_ ... Well that is what I always say! Smiley Happy

My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
Mod
Posts: 717
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

[ Edited ]

How do you know when its time to find someone new? If you've done this how'd you go about it?

It can be really hard to know especially when you are going through a particularly tough time. I think if you are feeling negatively towards the person you are going to see this is a bit of a warning sign. I have stopped seeing psychologists before because I felt like it wasn't helping anymore but I probably did not do this in the most ideal way - I just didn't book another appointment as I was in the "coping okay zone" at these times. 
 
However if it isn't working out and you feel like you still need help I know that you can go back to your GP and ask if you can see someone else and they will refer you off to someone else.
Mod
Posts: 720
Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: [CHAT] I went looking for help and didn't find it

@May_ interested to hear your response to this question (if you would like to share some of your experiences, of course) Smiley Happy

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