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Mod
Posts: 888
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Thanks for sharing that @loves netball It can be really hard and i think a lot of people here on the forums have had similar experiences, myself included, and it's really tough but what you have just said shows that you understand that these expectations aren't always realistic and that in itself is already a huge step in the right direction! 

Mod
Posts: 971
Registered: ‎09-08-2012

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Take care @N1ghtW1ng Smiley Happy
Mod
Posts: 888
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Take your time and space as you need it @N1ghtW1ng you've already given so much great support on the forums today, you know what you need - hope it helps!

Mod
Posts: 562
Registered: ‎23-08-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Smooth transition @safari93

 

Why do you think it's easier to crticise ourselves but not love ourselves?

We're basically already talking about this but I think the messages the world sends us can definitely make us more critical of ourselves and we do need to change the conversation. 

 

I know for me, the high achieving perfectionist that I am, I set a really high standard for myself such that nothing ever seems to be good enough. 

 

I think also sometimes we feel like we have to be critical and negative of ourselves. I certainly struggle with feeling like I'm arrogant and selfish if I try to focus on a better view of myself and self care. 

Mod
Posts: 971
Registered: ‎09-08-2012

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@safari93 I think that a big thing that leads us to criticise ourselves more is criticism from others. But not just when other people criticise us, because of course that can stick with us for years, but when other people criticise other people. It really plays into societal pressure. Society doesn't have to pressure us directly for us to feel the pressure.
Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Sorry I probably wasn't very clear with what I was trying to say

Mod
Posts: 1,672
Registered: ‎23-09-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@Randomness Hahah thank you!! But I definitely agree with the last part you mentioned - people still misinterpret self-love as selfishness. I struggled with that myself, even I thought I was being selfish and narcissistic when I was starting out trying to be more kind to myself

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

I agree with that too @Randomness, people at netball don't like others who make it obvious that they love themself and think they're awesome

Mod
Posts: 971
Registered: ‎09-08-2012

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Why do you think it's easier to crticise ourselves but not love ourselves?

 

 

I think firstly, it is so much easier to focus on the negative aspects rather than positive aspects. It's as though positive things are accepted very readily as they way things 'should be' and therefore aren't given the attention they deserve, and then all of our attention goes onto the things that aren't right.

 

Also, I think there's a big attitude, espeically in Australia, that loving yourself and acknowleding your good aspects is a bad thing. We assign words like vain and conceited and stuck up and up themselves to anyone who is able to rise above their faults. 

Mod
Posts: 1,672
Registered: ‎23-09-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@Birdeye that's true, we pick up a lot just from watching other people interact. We learn just as many lessons about how to behave indirectly

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