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Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

RUN!!!! I seem to always start thinking more positive about myself. Okay, I won't be modest here - I'm faster than average at distance Smiley Very Happy

Builder
Posts: 598
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Hey guys, sorry I missed the beginning. I'll have to catch up reading
Mod
Posts: 1,809
Registered: ‎23-09-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

What are some things you have done/can do to try to love yourself more when you're loathing yourself?

 

Sometimes just saying kind things to yourself can help. Just telling yourself that you look great when you're feeling down, or reminding yourself when you're feeling useless that at least you got out of bed today. Also reminding yourself when you've done something little, that might be a big deal for you.

 

These stickers come to mind:

 

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Mod
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Registered: ‎09-08-2012

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

You're totally right @loves netball, we want more and are shown more and it can be really hard at times to be happy with what you have when other people so noticeably have more.

And you know, we're only shown the end results of things. Like in the news you'll often get stories about people who bought houses or have made a ton of money really young, but all they're really talking about is the end result. They're not talking about how if you had had the life they had leading up to that result that you'd be in the same position. Which means that in comparison really, you may be just as successful in your life as they are in theirs, but your successes look different and annoyingly their success is the one we're told is the definition of success.
Mod
Posts: 922
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

That's awsome @loves netball, I'm so bad at running. I've just never been good at it! That's awsome that you run! What kinds of distances do you run?

 

Hey @Alison5 no worries, we are pretty relaxed here. No formalities, just glad you could make it Smiley Happy

Builder
Posts: 598
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Not sure if anyone has said this, but I think acting the way you would to a friend always helps to treat yourself fairly and kindly. You wouldn't tell you friend that you hate them, so don't tell yourself.
Mod
Posts: 570
Registered: ‎23-08-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@loves netball running is a great skill to have and a lot of people definitely find physical activity helps with their mood and self care. 

 

What are some things you have done/can do to try to love yourself more when you're loathing yourself?

For me the way I talk to myself is really important. I can be so negative about myself and I need to catch that thinking, challenge it and reframe it. Also setting a baseline of self talk that is more positive to begin with. 

 

Self care is really important too. Doing something nice for ourselves can help us feel better about ourselves and it shows that we respect ourselves enough to treat ourselves well. 

Mod
Posts: 1,809
Registered: ‎23-09-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

Hey @Alison5!! Feel free to browse the thread at your own pace Smiley Happy

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Mod
Posts: 922
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

I try to do that @Alison5 like when im having a problem or having a bad day I try to think about what Iw ould say to a close friend if they said they were having a problem. It does help sometimes!

 

But I do a few things, most of them are about food like buying myself a coffee, treating myself to something but I also try to write a bit and rationalise if im feeling a bit down and that really helps me recognise some of the "loathing" that might be taking place. I also find when im actively trying to love myself Im better and more loving to others, and more willing to show my love as well and that improves my relationships!

Mod
Posts: 1,809
Registered: ‎23-09-2014

Re: [CHAT] Learning to love yourself when you loathe yourself

@Alison5 that's a good tip! So many of us would do and say so much to let our friends know how special they are, so why not try that on ourselves?

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