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Builder
Posts: 595
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

I agree with you're definitions by the way and usually find that I regret it after I have vented.
Community Manager
Posts: 5,342
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

haha hey @Alison5!

 

And see you when you get back from your tasty foods @loves netball! Here is an Otter eating his dinner

 

Otterdinner

Mod
Posts: 902
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

I think that sometimes venting can be a good thing, I definitely think it can be part of processing things especially when life is full of changes and ups and downs. I think it can get toxic though when it becomes rumination and I know sometimes venting turning into a bit of a snowball effect for me sometimes and then things can get really bad and then i dont think it's constructive. I really have to seek my toolbox and work through the rumination to get me back on track and thinking rationally so i think it can be good and bad?

 

I think maybe I answered the next question too but its taken me a long time to figure out where that line is. When i need to withdraw and really work through my stuff

Mod
Posts: 902
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

I have a similar kind of family dynamic @loves netball it's super tough. Handling your own venting is one thing but managing and handling yourself when other people vent is also hard. What do you think?

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

Okay as far as I'm aware, STOP is a DBT skill

 

Stop (like stop moving; what you're doing etc)

Take a step back (from the situation; breathe; don't let feelings become impulsiveness)

Observe (look at the whole situation; notice your feelings and thoughts; what's your body doing)

Proceed mindfully (consider thoughts and feelings before acting; remember long terms goals; what actions will make the situation better or worse)

 

I got flavoured milk @Ben-RO (because I met my goal), now I might go make dinner

Builder
Posts: 595
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

My internet is being dodgy, so I might come in and out. It's just not refreshing for me.. :/
Builder
Posts: 15,637
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

That sucks @Alison5 Hopefully it fixes itself up for you
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Community Manager
Posts: 5,342
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

What might be a healthy way and an unhealthy way that someone could vent or ruminate? 

 
 
It sounds like people have talked a little bit about feeling like just venting or ruminating on it's own often doesn't help, or we feel a bit worse after. Sooooo I guess that's probably unhealthy. I think then just doing it on it's own probs isn't healthy, so maybe healthy ways to do it would be things like: 
 
  • Just noticing that we're venting or ruminating and that thoughts are just thoughts, doesn't make em the truth
  • Accepting that this is where we're at right now and making sure we practice a bit of compassion, because otherwise you might ruminate about venting or vent about ruminating Smiley Tongue 
  • Think of something else that might help us pull out of the thinking process we're in like a coping or a distraction technique
  • Practice Wise Mind ACCEPTS which @redhead made a beautiful post about Smiley Happy 
  • ACCEPTS is actually a huge list of things on it's own, so maybe we should talk even more about it, or find ways to practice? 
  • Put the thoughts aside, write them down and then calm down, face the thoughts when we're not also facing the distress the sneaky thoughts might create. 
Builder
Posts: 595
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

I think accepting things is a lot about just sitting with it, even if it's uncomfortable and then moving on.
Mod
Posts: 902
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

That's a pretty great list @Ben-RO.

 

Sometimes when im in a bad mood or there's a lot going on, I kind of just want to feel crap for a little while. I know i'll bounce back tomorrow but i just need to be a bit sulky for a little while. Is this bad? I think there can be times when its okay but other times when it turns into ruminating so how do you know whhich one it is?

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