20-02-2017 08:42 PM
I think that sometimes venting can be a good thing, I definitely think it can be part of processing things especially when life is full of changes and ups and downs. I think it can get toxic though when it becomes rumination and I know sometimes venting turning into a bit of a snowball effect for me sometimes and then things can get really bad and then i dont think it's constructive. I really have to seek my toolbox and work through the rumination to get me back on track and thinking rationally so i think it can be good and bad?
I think maybe I answered the next question too but its taken me a long time to figure out where that line is. When i need to withdraw and really work through my stuff
20-02-2017 08:43 PM
I have a similar kind of family dynamic @loves netball it's super tough. Handling your own venting is one thing but managing and handling yourself when other people vent is also hard. What do you think?
20-02-2017 08:44 PM
Okay as far as I'm aware, STOP is a DBT skill
Stop (like stop moving; what you're doing etc)
Take a step back (from the situation; breathe; don't let feelings become impulsiveness)
Observe (look at the whole situation; notice your feelings and thoughts; what's your body doing)
Proceed mindfully (consider thoughts and feelings before acting; remember long terms goals; what actions will make the situation better or worse)
I got flavoured milk @Ben-RO (because I met my goal), now I might go make dinner
20-02-2017 08:48 PM
What might be a healthy way and an unhealthy way that someone could vent or ruminate?
- Just noticing that we're venting or ruminating and that thoughts are just thoughts, doesn't make em the truth
- Accepting that this is where we're at right now and making sure we practice a bit of compassion, because otherwise you might ruminate about venting or vent about ruminating
- Think of something else that might help us pull out of the thinking process we're in like a coping or a distraction technique
- Practice Wise Mind ACCEPTS which @redhead made a beautiful post about
- ACCEPTS is actually a huge list of things on it's own, so maybe we should talk even more about it, or find ways to practice?
- Put the thoughts aside, write them down and then calm down, face the thoughts when we're not also facing the distress the sneaky thoughts might create.
20-02-2017 08:53 PM
That's a pretty great list @Ben-RO.
Sometimes when im in a bad mood or there's a lot going on, I kind of just want to feel crap for a little while. I know i'll bounce back tomorrow but i just need to be a bit sulky for a little while. Is this bad? I think there can be times when its okay but other times when it turns into ruminating so how do you know whhich one it is?