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Builder
Posts: 16,269
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

yeah i think you have a point about stepping back from things and the responsibility isn't solely on the person venting, other people should be aware of their limits i guess, which is tricky @Alison5
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Community Manager
Posts: 5,614
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

@Alison5 your point is also SUPER important, if the things we can try on our own, or with the support of our peers- whether that be our friends or on here- aren't working anymore then that's when it's time to get extra help, every time. Constant distress is not a very nice place to be in, so it means it's time for backup! 

Builder
Posts: 3,687
Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

How can venting effect other people? What can we do to be more mindful of others when venting?

 

Pick a time and a place that is appropriate for both people and making sure they're okay with giving you an ear for a little while.

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

How can venting effect other people? What can we do to be more mindful of others when venting?

Being in the presence of someone who is venting or reading a message can reduce me to tears and majorly trigger me to do something completely unsafe. Sometimes I still try to calm the person, which can put me in a vulnerable position (because I'm sensitive and am triggered easily). I think it would be helpful for people who are venting to not direct it at anyone. I wish everyone knew about STOP, although I doubt when someone is venting they would think to try STOP all the time. I also wish people who are venting would remove themselves from others so they don't hurt anyone physically or emotionally.

Mod
Posts: 922
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

How can venting effect other people? What can we do to be more mindful of others when venting?

 

I think it can effect people a lot, it can be really heavy and depending on who they are and how things are going with them and what they're going through it could trigger things for them or make them feel worried or anxious for the person that's venting? I find it really hard to help other people when im not doing too well myself so i can imagine it's the same. Maybe just recognising boundaries and maybe setting some boundaries too? Like maybe a disclaimer? Like just asking if it's okay? 

 

but now im kind of confused because from what we were saying before i feel like maybe venting is bad all together but then how do you process your stuff?

Community Manager
Posts: 5,614
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

My thoughts on not getting backup when backup is needed: 

 

Backupp

Mod
Posts: 922
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

Hmm really intersting what you're all saying, espcially your point @loves netball.

 

What do you think is stopping people from using STOP or removing themselves from others when they are in a bad place? Do you think maybe when we are venting we are looking for validation from other people? So we maybe gravitate towards them

Builder
Posts: 45
Registered: ‎29-08-2016

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

How can venting effect other people? What can we do to be more mindful of others when venting?

 

I think it really depends on what you're venting on? Like I don't mind if my friends vent to me about things like school or work cause I know what that's like and I can understand them. If it's something more serious than i would be more mindful about who I vent to and whether they would be able to really carry the burden of that.

 

We can probably be more mindful just by thinking about whether it's a subject that they can relate to and we can bond with over together cause I know my friends and I tend to do that XD

Builder
Posts: 16,269
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

ff.gif

HAHA me when its time to get backup @Ben-RO

//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod
Posts: 922
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [CHAT]: Stinking thinking

While we're all talking about and it thinking about this I thought it might be a good time to think about how RO can help with this a bit more. 

 

What does everyone think we could do on RO to be mindful of some of these issues?

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