17-10-2016 09:29 PM
So wise @Chloee!
Ah yes, @Stealth_ninja! Me too! Sometimes my reactions or my fears are shapped by past experiences of being bullied. It goes back to the random point i made about how we are wired to worry (at least a little bit). If you have had a bad experience, you can start framing everything in terms of that bad thing. It can take a while to learn to see other experiences for what they are, rather than as another potential bad thing... hopefully that makes sense
17-10-2016 09:31 PM
What are some of the things you think are likely to go wrong?
Some people think that first impressions are really important but I think it's more about not getting a chance to build on it. So I worry about the conversation not going anywhere and it all being over before it's had a chance to start. But then again sometimes it's just not meant to be, can't be forced. So another thing to go wrong could be when people try to force it, going back to trying too hard.
17-10-2016 09:32 PM
“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
17-10-2016 09:40 PM
There are LOOOTS of ways to learn to see things from a different perspective.
Here's a few that are my favourites:
- Have lots and lots more experiences to challenge the bad experience, stack the odds in your favour. So for example join a club or a forum or other community that share your interests
- Get the hang of noticing when you're feeling a bit worried and being okay with that - things like mindfulness meditation help with this stuff.
- Talk about it lots with people like us, or a good counsellor
17-10-2016 09:43 PM
I also having good friends/family/reachout crew around that I can sortve debrief myself and thinking whether it was good or bad and that helps reframe it too