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Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

So wise @Chloee! Smiley Happy 

 

Ah yes, @Stealth_ninja! Me too! Sometimes my reactions or my fears are shapped by past experiences of being bullied. It goes back to the random point i made about how we are wired to worry (at least a little bit). If you have had a bad experience, you can start framing everything in terms of that bad thing. It can take a while to learn to see other experiences for what they are, rather than as another potential bad thing... hopefully that makes sense Smiley Tongue 

Mod
Posts: 136
Registered: ‎17-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

 What are some of the things you think are likely to go wrong?

The other person thinking I'm strange or weird, not being 'in sync', feeling awkward/uncomfortable
Builder
Posts: 33
Registered: ‎11-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

What are some of the things you think are likely to go wrong?

Some people think that first impressions are really important but I think it's more about not getting a chance to build on it.  So I worry about the conversation not going anywhere and it all being over before it's had a chance to start. But then again sometimes it's just not meant to be, can't be forced. So another thing to go wrong could be when people try to force it, going back to trying too hard.

Builder
Posts: 111
Registered: ‎24-08-2016

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

@Ben-RO What are some goods ways of trying to see things from a different perspective? I guess it's really hard once you have a bad experience to be a bit more optimistic...
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“Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armour yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister, A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin
Builder
Posts: 2,980
Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

I'm done, Take care tonight guys.
Mod
Posts: 136
Registered: ‎17-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

@FootyFan26 you too, cya Smiley Happy

Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

@Chloee

 

There are LOOOTS of ways to learn to see things from a different perspective. 

 

Here's a few that are my favourites: 

 

  • Have lots and lots more experiences to challenge the bad experience, stack the odds in your favour. So for example join a club or a forum or other community that share your interests Smiley Happy
  • Get the hang of noticing when you're feeling a bit worried and being okay with that - things like mindfulness meditation help with this stuff. 
  • Talk about it lots with people like us, or a good counsellor Smiley Happy 
Mod
Posts: 888
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

I definitely agree with you @Ben-RO and it's definitely something I have worked hard on and I think I'm more open now even if it means I sometimes go home and obsess about what I said/if I said something wrong/what they think. But I also think because I'm open to it I can sometimes get some good validating feedback which kind of validates my actions and then a new cycle/framing begins. I don't know if that answers your question @Chloee I'm see Ben will give you a more comprehensive answer but I think it's practice, trying, developing the tools but also giving yourself the time and space to do it. Takes time but can happen!!
I also having good friends/family/reachout crew around that I can sortve debrief myself and thinking whether it was good or bad and that helps reframe it too
Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

Hmm time for the opposite question 

 

What are some of the good things that can come from meeting new people?

 

Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Cures for Loneliness

Gnite @FootyFan26! Sleep well, come see us again soon Smiley Happy 

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