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Community Manager
Posts: 5,336
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

@FootyFan26 it's a tricky question that i asked! It seems simple but it's not, sorry for being confusing. 

 

Here's my thinking behind it:

 

Sometimes we have intense feelings or thoughts. Sometimes those intense feelings or thoughts come from tough times we have been through, sometimes those intense feelings and thoughts are our body and our mind's way of saying "hey you have to do something about this!". 

 

Most of the time our intense feelings come from a mix of both things. 

 

The important thing is that we listen to those feelings. We might do some stuff to help get us through the intense part, but later it's worth reflecting, or thinking about where that feeling came from and if there's something we can learn, or a skill we can build to help us grow. 

 

So loneliness is a feeling that might be telling us something. For me loneliness tells me that i need to build more "connecting with people skills". So once i have gotten through the intense part i think about that a bit and what i can do to start building the skills! 

 

Oh man, i am rambling so much today Smiley Tongue 

Builder
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Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

I feel like you can have guts and have people see you as weak and vulnerable at the same time @Craycray17. I see where you're coming from but I don't like seeming even a little weak at all.
Builder
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Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

Well your rambling is very insightful @Ben-RO!
Community Manager
Posts: 5,336
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

naww thanks @FootyFan26 Smiley Happy Smiley Happy Smiley Happy Smiley Happy Smiley Happy 

Builder
Posts: 3,508
Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

Just doing it I guess @khaleesi_18. I'm not too sure. I guess it's different for each individual.
Post Mod
Posts: 2,206
Registered: ‎30-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

yeah i get you, @FootyFan26. and i think there will always be people who see seeking help as a weakness. i just want you to know that i think that some of the bravest things i think you have done on RO is by talking about those times. i know others might view talking about struggles as weak, but i definitely see a lot of strength in you to always be puting others first and sometimes also by opening up about it on here.
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
Mod
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Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

Next question!

 

For someone else who may be feeling lonely right now, what is something that helps you when you are lonely?

Post Mod
Posts: 2,206
Registered: ‎30-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

For someone else who may be feeling lonely right now, what is something that helps you when you are lonely?


i think that remembering that feeling lonely from time to time is normal and common can help me feel less... alone in the feeling. excuse the choice of words haha.

loneliness is pretty common from what i gather during tonights GR, so for me, to know that feeling lonely is a shared emotion makes me feel a little bit more able to sit with the feeling. it might not make the feeling pass, but is reassuring to know that others can understand the feeling i am experiencing sometimes.

also, for anyone who reads this and may be feeling lonely, i think this GR has shown that we users on RO can relate to the concept of loneliness, so im definitely going to start here if i feel lonely in the future.
we are what we repeatedly do - aristotle
Mod
Posts: 726
Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

That definitely makes sense @FootyFan26! It depends on what you're comfortable with, and talking/opening up even a little shows a massive amount of strength (and not weakness at all). This stuff can be so hard and you have heeaps of strength.

 

For someone else who may be feeling lonely right now, what is something that helps you when you are lonely?

 

I find it helpful to remember that loneliness is a VERY common feeling. Which somehow makes me feel less lonely... When I'm feeling super lonely, I try to make the effort to at least let one person know, or send a message to a friend (even just a 'hi how are you' message to start a conversation and reconect with them if we haven't spoken in a while)

Community Manager
Posts: 5,336
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Forever alone :(

[ Edited ]

For someone else who may be feeling lonely right now, what is something that helps you when you are lonely?

 
 
I feel like i have answered this question from a few different angles tonight. I think that @Craycray17 has the right idea; acknowledge the feeling as a feeling, something that will pass and that is okay to feel Smiley Happy
 
If you feel a bit distressed or worried or upset, that's okay too, although you can always distract or re-direct with some coping or distraction skills. Or you could just talk about it with a friend, or in a post here if you'd like Smiley Happy 
 
Later, when the storm has passed- so so speak- think about the things you can do to build up those connection skills! It's definitely okay to start very very small Smiley Happy 
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