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Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Thanks for stopping by @redhead

Builder
Posts: 552
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Same for me @redhead! I often notice just that little bit too late when I've already been upset or done something stupid. However, I definitely know that practise helps break the cycle. When I notice I am ruminating about things, I always remind myself how the past CANNOT be changed at all and that it's actually completely unproductive to think of the "what if's" and "if only's".
Builder
Posts: 2,980
Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

@Ben-RO I feel like in a way it's just instinct and sometimes it can actually prevent you from doing something where someone may get hurt or it could get in the way of an opportunity that really isn't of any danger to you.
Builder
Posts: 14,121
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

It's sort of ok but sort of isnt but we can't predict the future, who knows that it's going to definitely be bad? @Ben-RO like maybe I'll avoid but then it may of turned out ok anyway
Builder
Posts: 1,132
Registered: ‎01-09-2016

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Heyyy! Sorry I'm late, I've been watching Poirot, it's very good, but I'm here now Smiley Tongue

Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

For some of us it seems like it's tricky to notice that the bad experiences are getting in the way. 

 

What are some things to help us notice  or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it? 

Builder
Posts: 552
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

In answer to your question @Ben-RO, I usually notice this cycle by recognizing if I have had the same or similar thoughts and memories within the last couple of days. If I realize I have, I will take some time to shift my focus to something more productive and agree that I have spent enough time thinking about memories.
So I sort of make a deal with myself (that helps me stop getting upset too)
Community Manager
Posts: 4,841
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

@roseisnotaplant Hercule Poirot is an acceptable reason to miss the start of a GR haha Smiley Happy 

 

 

Mod
Posts: 888
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Hello sorry I'm late guys, pretty good discussion going on here!
My experiences are pretty similar! Rumination or just really inner feelings of inadequacy, thinking no one likes me cause I've been bullied in the past or getting scared that something bad is going to happen
Builder
Posts: 2,980
Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

What are some things to help us notice  or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it? 

 

  • Thinking about events in the past
  • Assuming
  • Being worried when you don't know the outcome
  • Having an opportunity you think would be great but still having doubt and hesitation around it
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