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Builder
Posts: 1,440
Registered: ‎01-09-2016

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

What are some things to help us notice  or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it?

 

I think noticing that your reacting negatively to a not-necasarily-negative situation is a good way of being mindful, especially if you can identify why you're reacting in that way. A slightly weird example: I walk through a park to get to and from school. I know for a fact there are magpies in and around the park, and because of past experiences, the presence of magpies in this park makes me very tense. I know why this is and I know that it's kind of irrational because the magpies in the park are not evil and go about eating worms instead of attacking innocent passers by. So when I'm walking through this park and I notice that I'm slightly freaking out, I acknowledge it, and try and think rationally about the situation (as well as walking very quickly.)

 

Did any of that make sense? Did I just tell a long and irrelevant story about birds?

Community Manager
Posts: 4,950
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Okay so we're kind of leading into the next question  and have also kind of answered it in part, so we'll see how we go and maybe move on if y'all reckon we've covered it.  

 
What are some things we can DO when regrets start to pop up in our head?
 
to make this one a little harder I'd like you to tell me
  • one coping strategy
  • one distraction strategy 
  • one learning or challenging your thinking strategy. 

 

 

Builder
Posts: 14,754
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

@roseisnotaplant that makes sooo much sense and I can actually relate in my own way
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 568
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Haha. Me too @Ben-RO, but key words "thinking about" because I always convince my compassionate side that I'm not worthy of it.
Therefore I think worthiness and self acceptance are important aspects in being compassionate to yourself.
Mod
Posts: 562
Registered: ‎23-08-2014

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Hello everyone! 

 

What are some things to help us notice  or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it? 

 

I think it can be different for everyone, but I think being aware of what our triggers are and signs we are ruminating and getting stuck in the past are important to watch out for. 

 

What are some things we can DO when regrets start to pop up in our head?

Notice them, challenge them and reframe our thinking. Practice self care. Talk with someone. Look at the positives and/or all you have done/achieved. 

Mod
Posts: 7,961
Registered: ‎14-04-2014

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Heya everyone!

 

What are some things to help us notice  or be mindful of our reaction to a situation and how old experiences are influencing it? 

 

This is actually an interesting question considering I used to always think of how past experiences influenced the way I reacted to things. I was always making the connections but then I was told that it was doing me more harm than good. As I was always in my head and not really focussing on the here and now. Me thinking of the connections wasn't helping me deal with the problem itself. 

 

But I guess I am coming from a trauma related point of view rather than, say, you embarrassed yourself somewhere and now you are too anxious to ever go back to that place again.


My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ
Builder
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Registered: ‎24-05-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

 What are some things we can DO when regrets start to pop up in our head?
 
  • one coping strategy - Mindfulness breathing or some positive self talk
  • one distraction strategy - Ask about it or pick 5 things around you that you can see that look like fun (if applicable)
  • challenging your thinking strategy  - Look at the opportunitites it could give you or the fun things that could happen
Community Manager
Posts: 4,950
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

It sure is tricky to love yourself huh @Alison5

Builder
Posts: 568
Registered: ‎07-10-2016

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

What are some things we can DO when regrets start to pop up in our head?

One coping strategy - Its usually just a matter of time with me before I realize that regrets are regrets which means that whilst I'm cringing now (in the future), at the time, it was a response that I would have felt comfortable with.
One distraction strategy - I like to do something nice for someone else. Whether that be take my dog out or talk with someone who may be a little bit lonely. That usually makes me feel a little better and as always, it is productive! (If you haven't noticed, I like to be very productive with my time) Smiley Tongue
One learning or challenging your thinking strategy - Every time a regret pops us, I like to ask myself (apart from: "Is this going to be productive?" B) ), but also: "Was it a good/appropriate decision at the very moment you did ...?" (And almost always, the answer is yes, hence why you did it!) 😃
Builder
Posts: 14,754
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [Chat] Overcoming bad experiences.

Coping Strategy - mindfulness like where are my hands, deep breathing.
Distraction - 5 things - things I can hear, see etc (not sure if this is coping or distraction)
Challenging negative thinking - Try to imagine when I thought things haven't worked out and they have, look at the possible postives, weighing up positives and negatives
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
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