09-01-2017 10:04 PM
What do you think you will take away from tonight's discussion?
Oh my, oh my. Where will I start? Tonight I have learned that we are all such an amazingly resilient and self aware bunch!
The best way I can describe what I'm taking away from tonight's discussion is with this list of quotes that really resonated with me tonight. I'll probably end up paraphrasing some of these ideas and adding them to my "2017" board when I'm done with it.
- "For me, writing things down or having support around me as others have suggested - I sometimes find it hard to notice when I'm being self-destructive or at least not helping myself, so keeping track of my own behaviours and having other people to bounce thoughts off has been useful in developing self-awareness" - @safari93
- "I would say "Engaging with life". Which, in less wishy-washy terms, means doing things that are real and have an impact on the world around me. Not necessarily a big impact, just an impact, so I get to step outside of my headspace for a moment or two and feel like I'm contributing/doing something. That could be as simple as taking 30 minutes out of my day to catch up with friends over coffee, going for a run or doing an hour or two of volunteering at the local Vinnies, or like...actually sitting down and getting some work done. (Not that I'm particularly good at that last one...)" - @Asche
- "For me my biggest setbacks have resulted from a change in my perspective or attitude. So I foget all of the helpful things i've learnt and forget how far i've come and then this leads to worse feelings and may result in a relapse. They have been difficult to deal with in recovery because there are two ways to look at a relapse/setback. 1. You have overcome it before and you can do it again! 2. It keeps happening so don't bother trying." - @Alison5
- "It's like recovery is like physical fitness. You don't just train every day for 6 months and go "alright I'm fit which means I can finally quit all this training!" You have to keep working out on a regular basis to maintain your fitness. Just like you have to keep implementing those strategies to stay mentally recovering." - @StarLord
- "It's taken me a long time to learn that relapsing doesn't mean I'm not worth the air I breathe. In the past, when I've relapsed I've always, always, blamed myself. And because I've blamed myself, I've made myself feel like I could have and, more importantly, should have, stopped myself from getting in to this position - by which logic I always decided that I deserved it. Now I think it's okay - it's natural. Literally everyone has their ups and downs; some people's may not feel as drastic as mine but they do. still. happen." - Yeah, I'm appreciating something ~I~ said, what of it?! hehe
- "Self-belief. Willpower. Sometimes creating physical distance. It's not always easy with that last one though." - @RevzZ
Anyway, thank you all for tonight! Goodnight
09-01-2017 10:08 PM - edited 09-01-2017 10:15 PM
Goddamnit guys, just when I thought I was finally caught up- this is what I get for skipping leg day.
And the day before that.
And the day before that.
And all the other leg days.
What's a leg day?
Have you been able to overcome a relapse? How were you able to do this?
Man, I've actually been pretty bad at this, given you know. 3 MDE's. I'm afraid I don't have a straightforward answer to this- what worked for me could be radically different from what works (or is impossible) for somebody else, and further complicating the matter is the fact that I didn't do very much to get out of the first two- things around me changed and that change just so happened to be helpful. (In my defense, I didn't really know what was going on during the first two episodes.)
Long expositional character backstory aside- I think I've tried most things (barring physical exercise, obviously) across the different episodes, but most of them involved some combination of skill-building (to get me out of my head) and tapping into/making a new support network, ranging from making some new friends to finally getting myself to therapy. I've also found doing charitable/cause-related work really fulfilling from a non-religious, "spiritual" perspective, by making you feel like you're part of a greater whole while you're working towards something together. I think the key thing though, was just learning to introspect and figure out what it was that I was dissatisfied about -whether it was my relationships, my grades, or a job and then working towards fixing those things- e.g. volunteering or interning to build my employable skillset, applying for jobs, etc. I suppose I've been pretty fortunate in that I've been able to fix most of those things so far...I could definitely see it being a lot harder to overcome my relapses if the cause wasn't something I could actively work towards and just had to try and forget.
Bottomline: Overcoming relapse is tricky and I definitely don't relish the idea of having to put my resilience to the test- the idea of it still scares me, and I suspect it probably will for a long time yet to come. But I'm a lot further along than I was before, and that's what's important here, because "recovery" is a constant process.
@May_ Re: A better word that would fit better than recovery does- hmm.... that's a tricky one. Maybe something along the lines of Resilience-building? (Seeing as that's what we spend most of the recovery process doing anyway.) Self-development could also fit too, although that's more of a general term.
Thanks for the discussion tonight guys! (Even if I was lagging behind for most of it. That'll teach me for showing up late. )