Reply
Builder
Posts: 133
Registered: ‎20-09-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

What things do you think have or could lead you to having a relapse?

 

I agree with everyone else, anniversaries, stressful events, negative thoughts, crises and taking on too much responsibility can, have and will lead me to relapse.

Mod
Posts: 483
Registered: ‎27-02-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

What things do you think have or could lead you to having a relapse?

 

A lot has been covered but I'd definitely like to add that even the presence of some people can cause a relapse too!

Mod
Posts: 1,120
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

I was going to try and make it until the end tonight, but I'm quite tired so I think I'll head to bed. Night, everyone!

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Mod
Posts: 706
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

goodnight @letitgo! thank you for your awesome contributions tonight Smiley Happy
Builder
Posts: 133
Registered: ‎20-09-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

Goodnight @letitgo! Thanks for joining in tonight Heart

Mod
Posts: 706
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

Seeecond last Q:

 

Have you been able to overcome a relapse? How were you able to do this?

Mod
Posts: 139
Registered: ‎25-08-2014

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

...atttt the cost of potentially breaking the flow of discussion, I'd just like to take a "quick" nip at Q1 since I missed it: (Sorry guys!)

 

What do recovery and relapse mean to you?

 

For me, recovery is essentially just a mixture of resilience and skill-building. It's not a "journey", because journeys have a destination, whereas I just want to "get better, period". I want to achieve my goals, get more skills and push even further beyond that. Some of my worst days were in my past- I don't want to "get back to where I used to be", because the last time I was "where I used to be", I tripped and fell into a giant chasm that took like 3 years to climb out of. So stuff "normal" (whatever "normal" even means).

 

I want to get beyond that. Far, far beyond that, where my depression is just a faint grey line on the horizon. Been there, done that, thanks for your hospitality, but I'd rather not come back, thank you very much.

 

So I actually think the term "Recovery" is a bit of a misnomer, since it propagates an idea of "getting back to baseline", as if there is an endpoint where you can sit down and say "yep, I'm recovered!".

 

I've had 3 MDE's in the past decade and a half. Statistically speaking, the odds of my relapsing into a depressive episode at some point are pretty close to 100%. I don't have time to sit down, I need to keep striving, to keep hitting goals, to push myself further and furth- aaannnd I just realised that totally makes me sound like a fitness junkie.

 

But I don't think that's a coincidence though. Because for me, recovery is like training up your physical fitness- it's something you constantly work at, day after day- not because you're trying to "make up" for some deficiency, but because that's just what needs to be done in order to achieve the goals you set for yourself. It's not a race. There are milestones, but there's no finish line.

 

For instance, I used to have "get a job" as one of my personal milestones. That didn't stop once I got one, it just changed from "get a job" to "keep my job" and then "get better at it". If developing a support network is part of your recovery process, you don't dump your friends the instant you feel better, and nor do you stop making friends. It never hurts to have more people to lean on anyway, particularly since support networks are dynamic and prone to change; sometimes relationships just don't work out, or people move away, and it's good to know that you'll still be supported when that happens.

 

 

Blending that with the previous question: (I'm old, I can't keep up with you young folks.)

 

Do you think it's okay to have a relapse? What are the negative and positive aspects of having a relapse? 

 

From my perspective, "relapse", is losing control over the advancement towards your goals for a moment. The "loss of control" aspect is important, because a recovered alcoholic who sips one drink at a party hasn't necessarily relapsed if they're drinking responsibly and everyone (recovered alcoholic included) ends up having a good time with not bad consequences. It is a relapse if they immediately chug a case of beer over the next day and a half and have to get their stomach pumped to get rid of the stuff.

 

As far as relapses go, they're pretty much mostly negative, in that they feel like crap, but there's nothing morally wrong with it. It's just a thing that happens. Even the most gym-minded fitness junkie skips leg day once in a while, and I'm almost 100% sure that everyone who has ever gone on a diet has broken it at one point. We're all human, none of us are perfect, and my will is not ironclad. Sometimes we slip up. And that's fine, so long as we find a way to get back up again (even if the way back up isn't glamorous.)

 

As for positives- I guess there is a positive aspect to relapses in that they can get you to reconsider your recovery process - e.g. "Was I too dependent/fixated on one thing/one person?" and it can put you in touch with some really great people when you reach out and expand your support network.

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,818
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

[ Edited ]

I refer to most of my relapses as potentially harmful. I'm still here so I guess I get past each one. It can involve using my skills or getting support from others

Builder
Posts: 133
Registered: ‎20-09-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

Have you been able to overcome a relapse? How were you able to do this?

Overcoming relapses has never really been a definitive thing for me - like, I can pinpoint the time where I relapsed but never when I overcame it. One of the most effective ways of overcoming relapses for me has been thought reframing exercises. These help me sooo much to put everything back in to perspective and start to pick up the pieces from a breakdown.

Mod
Posts: 483
Registered: ‎27-02-2016

Re: [GR] It's getting better! ...Wait, no. It's getting worse.

Have you been able to overcome a relapse? How were you able to do this?

 

Self-belief. Willpower. Sometimes creating physical distance. It's not always easy with that last one though. Having people ready to support you was/is definitely a key factor to overcome relapse, for me at least.

Top High Fived Authors