18-08-2014 07:51 PM
I really need some advice.
I've been suffering with Depression and Anxiety since I was 10 years old. I've been in and out with doctors and even now when I'm 20 years old, I still haven't found the appropriate help. I've Seen a couple of psychiatrists but none of them have been able to diagnose me with anything. Only Informally or what they 'think'. I even had one be rude and say he would refuse to diagnose me. Obviously that hurt me alot because I was there to find out what is wrong with me and how I can get help or what i can do to get better. I saw a Psycologist recently who thinks I may have Bipolar- Then when I saw a psychiatrist, they said Borderline personality disorder or something. (I never even heard of that one until then) No one is diagnosing me, or giving me information on what they think is causing me all this trouble.
Mental illnesses run in my family on both sides. Why am I running around like this when no one is going to help me?
It's tiring and I feel like just stopping but I don't even know what will happen if I stop.
It's gotten worse recently. It started by stopping from going to Tafe classes, then it turned into quitting tafe all together because I just couldn't handle it. The work was easy, I know I could have done better but I just couldn't. T~T Everything that I loved has turned into 'avoiding/quitting/unenjoyable'. I can't do anything by myself. Its always my parents who I ask to speak for me. I've also been having on and off suicidal thoughts- I'm scared of those becoming more than just thoughts T~T I want to be able to talk about things with people but I clam up, even with therapy. Nothing is helping me get better.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with a new psychiatrist. I'm anxious about it because I now feel like no one is serious or no one wants to help me. What should I be asking her?? How can I make sure she will actually be serious and help me? Its so expensive to be seeing them so I can't afford to keep running around like this. Also what do I do regarding centrelink? I dont know how to deal with them- I can't speak for myself at the moment because things have gotten so bad that I can't do anything (work or studies, I can't even look after myself at the moment) I was going to wait until the appointment with the Psychiatrist and ask her for advice but I don't know if I will be able to with my anxiety. TAT
Depression and anxiety is greatly impacting my everyday life.
I don't know how to deal with it anymore.
It's not going away by itself.
18-08-2014 08:43 PM
Welcome to ReachOut. Sounds like you're having a tough time getting help that works with your depression and anxiety. But I'm glad you found us.
I am sorry to hear that you've been troubled by suicidal thoughts. Are you feeling ok now? If not, please call Kids Helpline on 1800 55 1800 (ignore the name, they help people up to age 25) or Lifeline on 13 11 44. Both those services offer webchat if you prefer that to speaking to someone.
Also, if you have suicidal thoughts in future, here are some tips for keeping yourself safe.
It can be super annoying and depressing if you're having trouble finding a therapist who can help you. But I think that keeping on trying - even if it means having tried a couple of psychiatrists, then another one - is the best idea. You need to find someone that you feel comfortable with, and who you think you could develop some trust with. I hope the new one works out well for you.
SInce you've got a meeting with a new counsellor tomorrow, here are some tips which other members of ReachOut shared for when you're seeing a new counsellor:
Will you let us know how it goes?
19-08-2014 03:24 PM - last edited on 19-08-2014 09:16 PM by ElleBelle
I just want to write alittle update about this post.
Today I saw the Psychiatrist and it turned out really well. I'm more than happy to actually say "i've found the one" after searching so long to find the right Psychiatrist for me and someone who will seriously help me.
She was very understanding when I said "i'm sorry, I might not be able to say the right words because I feel alittle anxious about today" she said its no problem and to take my time. I felt so great, 'finally, someone who isn't wanting me in and out'.
She explained everything for me in words that I could understand (the other Psychiatrists I previously saw weren't this thorough so I feel quite happy that she was helping me to understand differences between certain mental illnesses.)
She said she cannot give me a formal diagnoses at this stage - which is completely understandable, she even said it may take up to 6 months, or more it depends. I was so nervous and scared it was going to turn out like my last appointments- which ended in a massive let down. this time when the appointment came to an end, I was actually somewhat happy (I was feeling down and anxious to begin with). I will be taking a new medication, soon well after I have my heart rate checked- she said it would be best to have that done in advance incase of the side effects change my heart rate.(did I say that wrong, I don't know lol) She said I 'may' have borderline eprsonality disorder, depression and bipolar affective disorder.
Centrelink is also sorted out. That was a big headache and a half especially with my anxiety today.
I was given a medical exemption form to give to centrelink- which gives me 3 months breath easy (for now) while I undergo treatment. They made me undergo a job capacity assessment--- Made me scared alittle because I have never done that. But that too was easy. The lady i saw for that was also understanding (which I might add, thought was going to be some scary dragon who want's to breath fire at me--- thats how I pictured it after hearing the bad news with job capacity assessment tests) She approved of the 3 months medical exemption from work or study and also gave me advice on slowly coming back to study (Because she asked me some questions and I told her that I would love to go back to study visual arts, but with the way I've been for a while, I haven't been able to complete any course while fulltime-- so she said i could probably be able to go part time etc) At this stage I don't know what i will be doing, at least not until I see how the meds are for me and how the treatment will go (including another appointment next month with the psychiatrist --- Who I forgot to add, said would bulk bill me--- Today I was suppose to pay what i thought was $40, but was actually suppose to be $150 and I end up getting $113 back from Medicare, but I couldn't pay that much so the psychiatrist bulk billed today and I will pay next appointment and all following will be bulkbilled for me.)
I feel better knowing I'm finally going somewhere- even if its slow, I found a good psychiatrist so now I can trust her with giving me the best diagnosis after a few more visits or as long as it takes as long as i'm getting appropriate treatment.
19-08-2014 09:23 PM
Hey @Kakio3 - thanks for the update! It's awesome that you finally found a professional who listened to you and gave you a realistic timeframe for your diagnosis. As trained as psychiatrists are, it's not as easy as just looking at you for half an hour and announcing what you have Do you feel like the pressure has eased now, especially with Centrelink sorted out?
Also, I had to remove some of your post. It's awesome that you want to give your new psych a shout out but we like to keep everything anonymous for safety reasons here at Reach Out, and we also don't allow mentioning medications by name. Have a quick squiz at our community guidelines when you get a chance.
20-08-2014 11:02 AM
Online Community Manager
20-08-2014 07:44 PM
Hey @Kakio3 that is such amazing news! I'm glad everything is taking a turn for the best. I hope everything continues to go up hill for you and you find the strength and happiness to deal with anything. Always remember that good and bad things happen to everyone, we don't have to understand why just know that they happen to everyone! At times when you are feeling down and feel like it's getting too much just remember the good placce you are at and know you can get there again with time.
Stay strong and wish you all the best.
29-08-2014 04:33 PM - edited 29-08-2014 05:21 PM
i'm so glad this has been resolved for you, i had to respond though because your story is so similar to mine. i've been having serious anxiety problems since i was about four or five, and i've been in and out of therapy since i was eighteen (i'm nearly twenty four, so that's six years) and i never felt like anyone had helped.
people don't talk nearly enough about how you really have to 'shop around' to find a gp, psychologist, psychiatrist, etc. who works with you in a way that helps. i've only recently found a gp and a case worker through a disability service that works with centrelink who i actually like. i was put on the three month medical exemption as well, and now they're both working with me to help put in an application for the disability services pension so i can go to therapy regularly and stabilise my mental health so i can go back to studying. even though it's slow going, don't lose hope and do your best to persevere!
29-08-2014 04:54 PM
Online Community Manager
29-08-2014 05:20 PM
that's all good! the most important thing is that you have to keep trying - and that if you don't like your gp or psychologist etc to go to a new one if you have the means! everyone has different styles and ways of working together, so it's just about finding someone who works for you and to keep going even though it's hard. and that sometimes it does take a while to get results as well.