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Community Manager
Posts: 5,319
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

I don't think you're an idiot @scared01 it seems like you're feeling embarassed about the results - or lack of results

Contributor
Posts: 1,666
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

both @Ben-RO

 

 

i am a friggin idiot

 

i got a $132 bill for the pathology results for the pap smear and i said to mum look at the bill and she doesnt know about the pap smear and now i think shes goignt o question me. i dont lie and i feel really bad but cause she doesnt understand results ive told her its for bloods and im hoping she doesnt pick up on it

Community Manager
Posts: 5,319
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

So something about getting tests, but then not getting a positive result makes you feel bad, or embarassed or like an idiot? Can you help me understand what's making you feel that way? If you want to talk about it that is- it's okay if you;re not ready to Smiley Happy

 

 

Contributor
Posts: 1,666
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

sorry @Ben-RO 

 

i just realsied how confusing that was to you- my brains running a thousand miles an hour

 

ok let me start again

 

 

ok so ive had numerous tests to see why i have been feeling so ill and all the results keep coming back clear. its making me look like im lying to them. and im not. the results are embarassing in accordance with the hpv diagnosis as well

 

im having other problems within that area as well and apparently it normal but its not normal for me so im abit worried about it and thats what im embarrassed about as well. and i ahve to buy intimate prducts to see if that helps and i cant have them in the house with my younger sisters

 

 

and im an idiot becasue

i sent my bill to mum in regards to the pap smear and she didnt know i was gettign tested at all. im hoping she doesnt question a 1001 things. i dont like lying and i dnt usually lie but to cover myself i told my mother that it was results for the blood test and hopefully she doesnt read into it any further

 

 

Community Manager
Posts: 5,319
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

I can see why you're not feeling so great, i mean for starters that's a lot to work through all at once!

 

 

How can we tackle this?

 

 

Contributor
Posts: 1,666
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

well ive contacted pathoology and sorted out the bill and payment etc so thats one thing off the list and im hoping mum wont look into it anymore

 

im talking to nurse nettie well as she can reply anyway

 

btu the rest i dont know @Ben-RO

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Contributor
Posts: 1,666
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

[ Edited ]

this RANT is kinda a rant plus what ive noticed in my change in behaviour but i cant explain why so maybe some one can shed some light on it

 

@Ben-RO@j95@Bree-RO@May_@letitgo@DruidChild@TOM-RO @Birdeye
I want to be normal
im grateful for the thing in my life but i always wonder what more is out there besides what is right here in front of me
i want to try new things
i want friends in life form
im so frsutrated at myself
as bad as it sounds i want to be a norml teenager and have the one night stands and go clubbing and meet new people
ive noticed more risk taking lately from myself as well like speeding- only when im in the car alone
i want to be able to have a tanty and not have so many repercussions of it
i dont want to have to go to the gp every week if not twice a week
i dont want to be itchy down there
i dont want all these health problems- besides ahving routine exams such as the pap smear and breast exam i dont want to go and even then i dont want to go but atm not much choice
 
i jsut want to be normal
i want to be a human and not robot
i dont want so many demands put on me
i want some sort of help
i want to just explode and have a family meeting and just literally jsut let rip
 
yesterday set me off- mum says if no ones giong to help clean the hosue then im not going to do it either. im going to clean it up today adn then i want yous (me and pop and sisters) to pitch in and jsut help out abit to keep the hosue tidy- my first thought- youve got to eb kidding me am i invisible and then second thought was ok thats sound fair it means ill get some help around the house as well. but what did she do through the day you ask- NOTHING- NO CLEANING NOTHING! so it left me doing it again

 

 

why cant i be normal

Mod
Posts: 2,123
Registered: ‎20-11-2013

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

@scared01 you've talked about a few things that you're not happy with there, there's dealing with what you've been feeling around the medical issues you've been having lately, feeling like you can't fully express yourself around your family, not feeling like you're meeting the expectations of how a 'normal' teenager behaves and being concerned about you're recent spike in risk taking. Would you say I got everything in there?

 

What out of that is sticking out as the most important to tackle right now?

Mod
Posts: 2,123
Registered: ‎20-11-2013

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

@scared01 well done on getting in contact about the bill and chatting to Nurse Nettie by the way! How did that chat go?

Contributor
Posts: 1,666
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

@Chessca_H

I am a waste of space in every aspect of my life

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