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Mod
Posts: 712
Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

It sounds like you've done a great job of self care tonight @scared01 - it's okay to take a step back from triggering things. What were you studying?

It's completely up to you - do you think that talking through everything would be helpful? I'm happy to listen if you feel comfortable, but if not, that's cool too. Just keep in mind our community guidelines if you would like to Smiley Happy totally your call.
Casual scribe
Posts: 372
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

thanks @Bree-RO new nickname- legend? i dont feel like a legend though

 

@khaleesi_18 im studying medical terminology. its great but find it abit hard to concentrate sometimes more when im in a low mood.

ill share with you. so i was sexually abused and it still haunts me to this day, my sister was attacked by a dog and i witnessed it and very very closely and again still haunts me and for both of these i get triggered very easily -both PTSD  events. i also have severe gad, severe depression, social phobia and health anxiety.

i ahve a few physical things going on like a very very painful injury, which i was told by 2 health professionals that i was imagining the pain,  something wrong with my neck, scoliosis, now glasses and maybe a thyroid thing but im not going for a blood test for it yet. ive become accustomed to the ways of SH and SI.

im a full time carer for my pop as well as being a primary carer for my two younger sisters.

my nan passed away last year and still trying to cope with that but through these events (except the sexual abuse as no one knows about it except here on the forums) i held everyone together including my mother.

but the dont care and they just think im complaining about the pain, oh and im selfish etc etc as im told alot of the time.

im sure ive left things out but i guess thats the general idea

Mod
Posts: 712
Registered: ‎14-10-2015

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

@scared01it takes a lot of strength to talk about everything that's been going on, and thank you for sharing your story with us. I hope you don't mind me saying, but it really takes a lot of strength and courage to be dealing with all of these things.

 

I just want to stress that it is NOT your fault that you were sexually abused. It's important to be compassionate towards yourself and practice self care. This is not your fault. Some people find it helpful to talk to a counsellor who is trained in helping survivors of sexual abuse, who will not judge you and help you to move forward at your own pace. This website lists lots of services that are available depending on where you live in Aus - I'm wondering whether you would feel comfortable checking them out?

 

I'm sorry that you have had such a frustrating response from those health professionals. Sometimes it can be hard to find someone that you truly connect with. I'm concerned about the PTSD and physical symptoms you mentioned - I'm wondering if you have thought about seeing a mental health professional?

 

I get the sense from your post that you've been using SH as a way to cope with all of these negative feelings - am I on the right track here? I'm wondering if it would be helpful to work together to come up with some strategies for when you feel like SH?

Casual scribe
Posts: 372
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

hi @khaleesi_18

i dont mind you saying anything. feel free to express openly.

i am seeing a pshcyologist and a psychiatrist and also a suicide prevention counsellor. but i just dont want to see them anymore. its not them, they are great, i just dont want to do anything anymore. i have had enough of it all.

yes i use SH quite alot to get away from eveything which is why im in the SP program.

 

Mod
Posts: 1,111
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

hey @scared01, like @khaleesi_18 I think it might be a good idea if we worked together to come up with some strategies for you to use when you feel like SH. What do you think?

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Casual scribe
Posts: 372
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

ive been told to use distractions such as studying, colouring in, reading, listening to music, watch a movie. go for a walk,.

mindfullness, keeping busy, thought challanging, journalling, and deep breathing @letitgo 

Mod
Posts: 1,111
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

I use some of those strategies myself @scared01, do any of them appeal to you in particular?

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Casual scribe
Posts: 372
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

i usually use the distraction method and do a few of the activities etc, or i go for a drive around ad listen to music in the car. i journal pretty much at the end of the day. @letitgo

 

today is another hard day that im really struggling with, one of my last memories that i have of my nan before she passed away last year has risen to the surface and jsut trying to contain myself

Mod
Posts: 1,111
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

I'm glad that you're using a few of those strategies @scared01.

 

Ah, I imagine that would be really painful. Please allow yourself the time to express how you're feeling and work through it. I'll be logging off soon, but I'll check in with you next time I log in to see how you're doing.

 

Sending you heaps of support!

 

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Casual scribe
Posts: 372
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: Depression- Really Struggling

thanks @letitgo

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