14-03-2017 01:58 AM - last edited on 14-03-2017 11:50 AM by Ben-RO
I am absolutely terrified I have cancer. It is this constant overwhelming feeling that I haven't been able to shake for weeks now. I am terrified of going to the doctor, but I went to an urgent care anyways. I told her I had a lump on my side and I told her I could only feel it while laying on my side. She pressed on my stomach and said it was a lipoma. She didn't have me turn on my side, and it just seemed so nonchalant to her. I don't think she felt the lump I was talking about. I was also having chest pains and dizzyness and she prescribed 2 medications. I don't think either of these medications agreed with me so I didn't take them past the second dose. This lump I feel is hard, smooth and on my side under my right rib cage. I can feel it from my side/back. All I have done for the past few weeks is lay in bed. I can't bring myself to do anything else because I am petrified of what is wrong with me. My hips now hurt from laying in bed and my right side is now tender/dull achey and I still get chest pains. I don't know if the chest pains are anxiety related or something else. I did have an EKG done while I was at the urgent care and she said it was "perfect".
But now all this laying on my side has made me sore..I wear glasses and I have a mole behind my ear that I never really think about but my glasses pressing into the side of my head made my ear a bit tender.. which made me think about this mole I have had for a while now, that has uneven edges. All I can think about is that I have cancer. Every kind of cancer. I have had diarrhea for a few years now, just about every day. I always blew it off as a result of poor diet. Which in the last year or so I have been working to improve. I just started taking probiotics as well as multi vitamins in hopes that it will help.
I am an absolute mess. I am 28 years old, and absolutely terrified that I am dying. I can't stop googling symptoms, because I don't want to go to the doctor. I don't want a slew of tests, I just want to know that I am okay I can't stop crying. I don't want to tell my significant other how much this is worrying me, I just don't know what to do...which is why I went looking for a forum like this.
14-03-2017 05:38 PM
Thanks for sharing that with us. It sounds really frightening to feel this way, and overwhelming as well. I would really suggest that you see your doctor again if you're able to - maybe mention that you're worried that the doctor in urgent care didn't check out your concerns properly.
It's really scary to think you might have a serious health problem, but sometimes our brains take a fear and run with it, and make it out to be much bigger than it really is. Sometimes worrying a lot about your health is a sign of anxiety - I have anxiety and I sometimes get fears that are pretty overwhelming and constant. Is there anything you could do to feel a bit calmer until you're able to get medical help? Even something really small, like playing with a pet or having a hot shower?
Do you live in Australia? I noticed your username says Ohio, is all This is an Australian website so there might be differences in health systems and the kinds of resources that are around. If you are in Australia, maybe you could give the healthdirect line a call? You can find the details here - https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/contact-us.
14-03-2017 06:46 PM
ReachOut.com is an online forum for Australian youth, and unfortunately we are unable to provide support for people outside of Australia. It sounds like you are going through alot at the moment, especially with your health anxieties. Have you seen any other doctors about this issue?
You can find information about relevant mental health services in your country here and here. If you are in crisis please call 1-800-273-TALK or use their online chat service which can find here.