21-04-2014 09:03 PM - last edited on 22-04-2014 02:40 PM by Sophie-RO
I used to be depressed and I only self harmed about four times. I'm not depressed anymore but I've been self harming a lot more recently then when I was depressed just because I like the way the scars look on my skin. I know that this is not normal & I'm not doing it for attention, I'm just doing it because I like it. I just sort of wanted to share because I don't want to tell anyone that's close to me.
21-04-2014 09:49 PM - last edited on 10-09-2014 07:11 PM by hartley_
Welcome back to ReachOut!
I hope you don't mind, I had to edit your post a little bit so that it fits our community guidelines.
I think there can be a few reasons people like doing things to their body to change their appearance (which is why people get tattooes and piercings and stuff like that, isn't it?) But I think there's a difference between those kinds of body modifications, and self harming.
There can be a few different things that trigger self harming behaviour, not just depression. This article talks a bit about that, as well as some information on what you can do to manage self harm.
I'd really encourage you to find other ways to cope with urges to self-harm. Things that are safe and more positive for you.
I know there are a few people here on RO who have self harmed in the past and they can probably chime in here to suggest some ways to distract yourself or find other ways to express yourself. One way that I heard was finding another creative way to let out what you are feeling or what you're trying to say - even if it's drawing on yourself with a pen instead of self harming!
Would you consider calling a helpline to talk this over with someone? Kids helpline is available all hours on 1800 55 1800 and they have a web chat service if you'd prefer that to the phone.
22-04-2014 09:43 AM - last edited on 10-09-2014 07:11 PM by hartley_
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through all of this at the moment. The above post answers your question really well, and I reckon it could be useful for you.
I've attached some links that I believe that you may find helpful;
Well done for posting on ReachOut, I look forward reading your future post's.
All the best @DoubleDipped
22-04-2014 04:36 PM - edited 22-04-2014 04:41 PM
Hi @DoubleDipped .
I thought I'd just respond briefly and let you know that it's not only people who are depressed that will turn to self-harm as a way to cope. Self-harm is used by people from all sorts of backgrounds going through all sorts of tough times and from my experiences and from what I've read or heard from others it's more so a way of dealing with overwheliming emotions of any kind.
But it can also become addictive and some will do it for the reason that you choose to- the feel of it. I myself have done so in the past for a variety of different reasons from dealing with emotions to the sensation to wanting someone to notice and understand what I couldn't seem to say (that I wasn't coping).
However I want to emphasize that whilst it is a coping strategy there are other ways to cope and deal with things and it is also possible to move past self-harming just for the sensation.
I'm now in recover (I'm almost at 11 months) after a long time of self-harming and I do feel better for it. I'm not saying it's easy, but I am saying that it is possible to work through it. How long that takes and how they push through it will vary but I thought I'd share these things in case you are considering trying to move past it and so you know that you are not alone. \
Some things I do instead are talking about what's going on, listen to music, put a small amount of pressure on the area (this takes the urge away a bit and doesn't cause lasting harm or hurt), write, rip up paper, make fits with my hands and squeeze them slightly (but not too rough- this causes some tension that can then be released), use mindfulness meditation, make sure my trigger items are not in my bedroom or that I avoid things that could trigger me if I'm feeling vulnerable. I'm sure there's more that I can't think of atm. Perhaps you have some that you could think of that would work for you?
Do you have a counsellor or other health professional you could talk to about this?
Thank you for being honest and well done on sharing what you're dealing with- that's generally not an easy thing to do- and I think you're making an important step forward by talking about it.
22-04-2014 05:28 PM
It is amazing that you have come on here, so open and shared with us what you are going through. You should be proud of yourself for being honest. Everyone here has given you such great information and @Lightuptheworld is right about self harm being used as a coping strategies, do you think you self harm as a way of coping, to relax?
**Believe in the power of you because you are your own hero**
22-04-2014 06:36 PM
Thanks guys. I'm taking all of your tips into consideration & I'm reading all of the articles that you gave me links to. And like you guys said I'm pretty sure the self-harm is just a way of coping. Thanks again.
22-04-2014 09:39 PM
That's awesome that you're reading the articles and thinking about the advice that's been offered here. There is lots of wonderful support that you can access both online and in real life. The only thing you need to do is to ask for it. It sounds like you are committed and determined to overcoming this issue in your life, so this will hopefully provide you with the motivation you need to keep on moving forward.
Meanwhile, for your reading list...
Best of luck with your journey and please make sure you keep coming back to keep us updated.
22-09-2015 02:16 PM
Cool name by the way!
There's a stack of really good links in the posts above yours. Have you had a read of them? If this is something you want to start working through, let us know. Maybe we can talk through some of the strategies in the articles