07-03-2017 06:34 PM
Hi everyone, Im currently 5 weeks into yr 12 and I honestly am sick of everything (not just school but life in general). I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression early 2016 I also have really bad self esteem and I got put on a mental health care plan but Iv havn't achieved anything with my psychologist I feel like every time i go im wasting my time, i feel uncomfortable, i dont connect with her, i only see her for 10 sessions a year which is very little as its on the plan and im 17 and cant afford to pay for therapy and I don't see the point, I had a session today and she said that i'm "hard to read' and that I always seem so put together, she thinks i'm doing ok and that i wont need to see her much longer just a catch up hear and there but i'm honestly getting worse I have been so down and sad most of the time since school started I have cried at least 4 times in every class because I feel stupid and worthless and if I don't get 100% i'm not happy I got a B+ on my first biology test and I was so disgusted with myself and like I suck and everyone is better and Im a burden, the anxiety is doing my head in and Iv started self harming again for the first time in 3 years and I have no clue why I just want to do it (iv only been doing this for 2 weeks) but I told her I was fine and Im honestly so glad I don't have to go to therapy anymore I have always wanted to be a psychologist but now i'm starting to think therapy is a bunch bollocks and a waste so im really conflicted. I also don't know what the heck to do I wont tell my parents any of this I HATE them being involved in my life especially emotionally and I also am really depressed about how even if i need help 10 sessions a year wont do much and I need more to connect with someone and I cant afford the sessions and neither can my family it just isn't possible and the fact that my family is struggling with money and I don't have any stresses me out. I also have a lot of relationship issues with my step dad and dad so that causes lots of fighting. even my body issues are getting worse I honestly am disgusted by my reflection I cant look in the mirror in the school bathrooms because I look so fat and gross and weird looking. Even my teachers are sick of me because im so negative all the time I also cant do any of the assignments by myself because i need reassurance i'm right, I feel pathetic I have no clue what the point of anything is anymore.
07-03-2017 06:49 PM
Hey @Alec29 thanks heaps for sharing this with RO.
Hmm lots of stuff on your shoulders... Does it feel a bit better to unpack it all on the forums? I reckon a few of the guys will be able to provide you with some peer support I am happy to kick it off, but no doubt more users will jump in soon.
In terms of feeling limited with resources to help your mental health there are definitely other avenues available to you, I'll list them below -
Kids Helpline (professional, qualified, free counsellors via chat and phone) [click here]
Around the body image issues there's Butterfly Foundation
(Phone: 1800 33 4673 Email: email@example.com)
these guys provide confidential support for anyone with a question about negative body image, can be good to chat it out and see how you can feel a bit better within yourself
Regarding being a Psych, I can see how your perspective has been shifted by some poor experiences with your own Psych. But that can also be an amazing fuel for you moving forward if you went down that career path It means you know the importance of being an engaging, empathetic mental health worker. Remember too there's a whole bunch of different avenues in counselling not just psychology, i.e. general counselling, psych, transpersonal counselling, existential therapy, animal therapy etc etc
Around your SH, do you feel relatively safe tonight or is it on your mind quite a bit?
09-03-2017 01:08 PM
Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
17-03-2017 01:49 PM
Other people have said this but it definitely sounds like you're going through a really hard time right now and you're not really getting the support you need.
I know you only have 10 sessions because of your plan but if things are really not working out with your therapist I would suggest asking for a referral to another one. It's better to have a few sessions with a therapist you actually feel comfortable with than spending all 10 not making progress because there is no connection. However, in order for any therapy to work unfortunately you do have to be honest with your feelings with your therapist. Your therapist thinks you are doing 'ok' but obviously you are not--is it possible for you to tell her that? You don't have to give her the same details as on your post but mentioning that you are crying frequently + self-harming would let her know you are NOT doing alright and require further care.
If you are under 25, I would seriously recommend making an appointment at Headspace, They have tons of resources that aren't just therapy that can really help you (stuff like exercise groups, gps, nurses etc.) and offer you help in other ways too like with money.
18-03-2017 01:29 PM
sounds like you have alot going on for you..
how are you travelling tonight?
so things dont seem overwhleming would you like us to help you break it down so we can work on one issue at time so its not too much all at once.
i know what your feeling, ive been through alot including while i was doing my HSC about 3 years ago now so im happy to give you some tips and being a support person for you