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Builder
Posts: 16,297
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Mum

I have so much shit going on I'm actually finding it hard to keep track of everything happening, just listing it all out. 

Here's a list of everything that's wrong:

- My brother is dependent on me and I can't take it anymore
- I'm dumb as fuck and I can't do any of the work at trade school
- My mum is most likely going to prison
- I'm anxious all of the time
- I'm currently trying to work out if I should go off my meds
- I'm trying to find a parental or mentor type figure in my life
- I'm trying to link back into seeing a psych
- I bullied somebody here on RO ages ago and I still worry about it, a lot.

im trying to live a good life but this stupid shit keeps happening!! I'm so angry about it I can't do anything without everything happening. 

That is why I'm am so angry, so irritable, so damn upset all of the time. It's this stupid stuff. 

 

I made this thread so I could talk about the thing with my Mum. So yeah. This is it @N1ghtW1ng @Bree-RO

//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,046
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Mum

@j95 thanks for opening up and sharing. Am I right that you feel like there's just a huge bucket of troubles that you're sitting with, trying your hardest to sift through?

And then this info with your Mum is kind of the last straw for you emotionally at the moment? Sorta right?

Builder
Posts: 16,297
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Mum

Yep and when I work through one, another comes up, never ending.
My life is just madness and I wish things were easier. I wish my parents weren't abusive and that they actually cared about me.

Yep this thing with mum is like the final straw I'm just so over my life throwing curveballs all of the time. ALL THE TIME.
And it's just so hard, i cant believe that it's happening to her @Bree-RO
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 203
Registered: ‎25-08-2016

Re: Mum

hi hello this is a lot, I'm guessing this was part of another thread? anyway

 

I think with all this going on, maybe avoid going off meds unless youre getting bad side effects, just because going off meds can be tough and it sounds like you probably dont need that sort of thing at the moment. 

 

Also with the bully thing... years ago i bullied someone online too. I think about it a lot even though its probably almost been ten years. i still remember verbatim some of the things I said and im still disgusted with myself. but i use that feeling to think, okay i should be extra nice, im extra careful with what i say to people and i think about their perspective and what they might feel when they read what i say. i try to turn it into a positive learning experience yknow? like reframe it. 

 

 

anyway thats a lot of rough things all happening at once Heart stay safe ok? 

 

 

Builder
Posts: 16,297
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Mum

Ha well there will never been a good time to go off meds if that's the case because there is ongoing problems all of the time things just keep coming up!
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 16,297
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Mum

It's mostly the stuff with my mum I'm need to work through right now. That's tonight's priority.
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,046
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Mum

@j95 Sorta feel like meds is definitely something that's totally up to you, something to chat to your GP about and even chat with your counsellor about. I do empathise with never a good time I had the same challenge when I weaned off my meds, I made sure I checked in with medical staff and took my counselling sessions from 1 to 2 sessions per week just during the weaning process. However we are all different - what do you think would be best for you?

Are you feeling a bit of empathy for your Mum at the mo? Feeling a bit down on her behalf etc..?

Builder
Posts: 16,297
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Mum

I'd prefer go to off them, and I have been saying that for ages. I don't know if I'm ready for the extra work involved though considering I have so much other stuff.

Yeah I feel sad for her @Bree-RO really crap Smiley Sad Its my own mum. After everything that's happened and how I keep saying I wish she would get in trouble, I sometimes wish she was dead etc, it's happening and that feels so awful.
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Builder
Posts: 16,297
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: Mum

And I don't know details and i know kts got lots of reasons but it's my fault for ever ever saying anything, I should of shut my mouth even when I was a kid
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod Squad
Posts: 2,046
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Mum

@j95 Yeah and I think that really is a great gesture to the level of empathy you have as a human being I think at the end of the day you don't want any one person to suffer any great pain, even someone who hasn't supported you as a mentor and carer. Well done mate, that empathy in itself is something to be proud of. 

 

What do you think could be a good move in terms of breaking down that list of worries?

 

I am logging off but look forward to checking out this thread tomorrow. Smiley Very Happy

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