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Rookie scribe
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎16-05-2017

Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

[ Edited ]

I have been bullied my whole life, but got worse in year 7, two years ago where I was physically, cyber, socially and emotionally bullied. There was six against me, I was made fun of, was the center of online humiliation, threatened. I have moved schools, my parents however do not know the full story and only know the threats as they saw text messages. This carried on for two years. What makes this even more messed up is that they were my best friends. Since this occurrence I have felt and still feel that a part of me is missing, I'm incomplete. My parents are in constant conflict, I got a job to help support my family. I feel overwhelmed and every time I'm in the shower and look down at the aftermath of my SH, I'm remembered of all the cruelty I went through. They seem to have everything, but I have nothing. I falling way behind in my schoolwork, which was one of my biggest priorities. I can't take it anymore. OI can't focus, I can't do anything and every time I open my mouth to speak I always end up saying the wrong thing, and humiliating myself. I cry myself to sleep every night. I can't take it.

Mod Squad
Posts: 1,722
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

Hi @ytinae I am so incredibly sorry about this experience, it must have been incredibly painful and even on this end it sounds to me that you are very strong and have been carrying this by yourself for a while am I right?

 

There's a bunch of online peer support here on ReachOut as well as some resources I can link you into Smiley Happy There will be other members on the forum who have experience in both dealing with bullies and the trauma they cause, as well as how to live a full life after self harming. I had to do a quick edit of your post, no biggy just due to our community guidelines around methods of self harm..

 

Before we go on though can I check that you're able to keep yourself safe tonight? A bit worried about your mention of not being able to take it.. 

Rookie scribe
Posts: 2
Registered: ‎16-05-2017

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

@Bree-RO

Yes, you are right, I have been carrying it on my own, It isn't exactly something easy a 14 year old can deal with. All I feel is loneliness, sadness all the time. But I'm in a stage that I feel like such a disgrace to my family, I'm failing school and most importantly myself.

Mod Squad
Posts: 1,722
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

You're doing very well for your age @ytinae - are you safe tonight? 

 

Why is it you feel a disgrace? Do you think it could help to open up to your family or would that not be something you are ready for?


Remembering too it would be pretty hard to get study done with all this in your mind, try and go easy on yourself Smiley Happy

 

If you want some professional support there's a free service I highly recommend called KHL or Kids Helpline. They also have online web chat here if you'd prefer, and it's totally confidential.  

Community Manager
Posts: 5,319
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

Let us know how you're doing and if you want to talk more @ytinae Smiley Happy

Super frequent scribe
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎23-11-2016

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

this is the self assessment options.

Mod
Posts: 1,406
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

How are you doing today @ytinae?

 

I'm hearing that you're a really strong person, to have overcome all that, and even though things seem tough now too, I believe you can get through this too.

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Mod Squad
Posts: 1,722
Registered: ‎23-09-2016

Re: Need an out... Depression & Self-harm

@ytinae any update, just wanting to check in on you today? Thinking of you!

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