28-02-2017 10:53 PM - edited 28-02-2017 11:04 PM
At the moment I need the love only a mother can give, and I can't have that. I just want a hug from her and for her to tell me she loves me. But she doesn't love me and it'll never happen.
I just really need her right now. I need my Mum a lot, and I need that love that I'm never going to get, she is not ever going to love me and tell me that she is proud of me.
I can't stop crying tonight. I have never had a warm hug from her, with that safe feeling. That's how I imagine it to be.
28-02-2017 11:08 PM
@j95 I am so glad you opened this thread up.
Tell me, do you feel she didn't love you or do you feel she emotionally neglected you?
Do you need her love to be a strong, independent and resilient young guy? Wanting a hug from her must be a really heavy feeling... When you just can't get it. I know that one myself, but there are many hugs for you in this life
Maybe your own kidlets one day, maybe many more from your little siblings.
Coping without the affection of a parent though can be quite an up and down process, @DruidChild had a great analogy today about life's pain being like the ocean. @DruidChild I believe your analogy works here too if you'd like to chime in
I am logging off @j95 but I hope you continue this convo with the crew. It's very important.
01-03-2017 07:43 AM
How are you today? I'm sorry that right now your mum isn't there for you, even though you need her. It sounds really tough and painful. Hugs. I know that you're a really strong person but I understand that sometimes we don't want to be strong, we just want to be cared for and loved. I think that you're playing a really big part in making sure that your siblings always feel loved and know that you're proud of them - is that something positive that comes from your experiences?
Yeah okay, so I had an analogy yesterday about how life is like an ocean. Sometimes it's calm and gentle and sometimes it's rough and stormy. The ocean is really powerful, and it can hurt people as well as heal us. But whatever the weather is like, it's always a beautiful and much needed force. I guess my point there is that life has its ups and downs but it's still always beautiful and worth living. The best waves come from rough seas, right?
I hope you're okay today. Sending many hugs.
01-03-2017 09:20 AM
I know I don't need her love to do the things I want and be independent but it's tough when you feel like you can't get some love from your own parents.
01-03-2017 09:23 AM
Your analogy is really cool. thanks
01-03-2017 06:26 PM - edited 01-03-2017 06:29 PM
This is so fucking stupid and everyone else is probably saying the same thing and I'm pretty sure nobody cares because its so dumb.
I'm a stupid baby who should stop wanting something thats impossible and grow up. my mum should of just aborted me when she had the chance.
01-03-2017 06:27 PM
Just wanted to follow up on here. Is there anyone or anywhere else that you can think of that you might want to chat with about how you are feeling? What about a weighted stuffed animal that others have been talking about on here?
My entire life can be described in one sentence: It didn't go as planned and that's okay. ツ