15-03-2017 07:38 PM
Feel free to ignore this, but I'm going ignore that voice in my head telling me not to post and do it anyway.
Basically, today I had my first day of prac. In case you don't know or don't remember, I'm studying to be a primary teacher, and my prac was for year two's (actually, a side question, if anyone could tell me what age year two's are supposed to be (roughly) I'd be super grateful because maths is hard and also school grades confuse me) but yeah. First ever day of prac with year two's.
How my day went. I so did not want to get out of bed. I actually was woken up by my alarm this morning (I usually wake up before it) I had to speed-walk to the bus because I almost missed it because I stayed in bed being lazy instead of getting ready. I was pretty sure I was going to slip on my way to the school. I ended up making myself knock on the door because I was confused about the admin building being closed (too stupid to realise it wouldn't open till 8'oclock and it wasn't quite 8 yet.) so yeah I did that, I managed to introduce yourself. Then I waited, succeeded through the meeting with the deputy principal and then followed him through the school to my teacher. Who is a lovely woman so yay I guess. She gave me a bit of a run-down of her class and such. Then the day started and it was going alright. Naturally I was nervous, who wouldn't be? So yeah. Things got a bit awkward for me when I was trying to help someone who couldn't actually write (I did figure it out in the end, but I still tried to help her with the story (which is what they were writing)) but yeah, that was tough.
I think the feeling of starting to cry came around the middle of the day? It just slowly came on from tiredness to feeling like crying (sore eyes, that sort of thing) One girl kept trying to hug me and I just... started to slip. I maintained composure, of course, I'm good at that. I made it all the way home. I haven't cried yet of course. (although I'm rather close to it at the moment) but yeah. We had an assembly at the end, which was so loud and rather overwhelming but I made it. And then some playground duty (my school has three class sessions, two lunch breaks in between and at the end of the day a play break for the kids, which is pretty cool) but anyway, it was a good day. The walk home was when I really started to crash, my ankle (not the bad one, but the "good" one) was starting to hurt, my head hurt, my shoulder/s(i had a shoulder bag) and even my neck in that sore spot that hurts a lot at the end of the day. So I ended up getting a lift for the last leg (like, five minutes walking) from mum because I passed her work at the same time as she was leaving) and when I got home I just prepared myself to just lay on the couch and watch some tv. Rest of the family got home (mum had to leave again) and they kept asking me how my day was and I just, didn't want to answer because I don't know. I say fine, I say good and it was but I still feel very unsure.
I actually have dinner ready now but to conclude really quickly (I might come back and edit) but I'm basically really unsure. I feel overwhelmed and like things are slipping away from me. I don't know what I want to do anymore. Of course I love teaching, but being a teacher? What am I going to do? I don't know! Maybe I should break from studying? But I've already started and I can't just leave...? I DON'T KNOW! But yeah, dinner now (no pie, unfortunately (although I am having spaghetti), but I'm still gunning for an early night)
Time for dinner!
15-03-2017 08:06 PM
Enjoy your meal @N1ghtW1ng!
Listen I'll share with you that I went through the same self doubt as an undergraduate uni student going on placements - for years!! It's probably not until I got my first job and 6 months into it that I thought to myself "hey I can actually do this"
15-03-2017 08:46 PM
My family has also been a bit overwhelming. I'm going to go to bed soon and just sleep forever (until I have to get up for uni tomorrow)
15-03-2017 09:00 PM
year 2s are roughly 6-8 years old. my sisters in year one and shes 6 but this is the usual range depending on what age they start pre school
i think its great your becoming a teacher, i hope your still going to continue that
just remeber its only your first day, of course its probably going to be pretty overwhelming for everyone in your position. i think all teachers definently start off nervous.
im not a school teacher but i do occassionally help teach kids to ride horses and i remember the first time. OMG i was so nervous i thought i needed to carry a spew bucket around with me all day. it took a few goes but afterwards i started to relax and oncce i relaxed i realised my stupids were relaxed also and i began to really enjoy it. maybe this is the case for you as well?
15-03-2017 09:27 PM