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Star contributor
Posts: 2,785
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

help me please- validation without realsiing

hi guys

ive been told twice now that i need to stop getting my feelings validated

how do i stop doing that if i dont even realise im doing it

any help would be good

 

@Bree-RO @Sally-RO@May_ @N1ghtW1ng@Ben-RO@letitgo

Mod Squad
Posts: 526
Registered: ‎09-05-2016

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

@scared01 Can you tell me a bit more about that? Im not too sure what you mean, thanks 

Builder
Posts: 2,077
Registered: ‎01-09-2016

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

[ Edited ]

@scared01 Do you mean that you have to have someone else confirm that you're feeling in a particular way to know that/accept that/be okay with the feeling that's happening? I don't think I've worded that very well, and I could be totally wrong Smiley Tongue What do you think @scared01?

Star contributor
Posts: 2,785
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

hi @roseisnotaplant @TOM-RO

 

@roseisnotaplant youve pretty much explained it

 

so im another forum as well but im not going to say which one it is and i feel like im being tareted

they said they are sick of keeping reassuring and validating my feelings and that i need to set boundaries with them-

 

Mod Squad
Posts: 526
Registered: ‎09-05-2016

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

@scared01 Im sorry to hear that you feel like you are being targeted. Whats it like for you when somebody reassures you and validates your feelings?

Star contributor
Posts: 2,785
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

i didnt even realsie i was doing that. it wasnt my intentions at all i was jsut stating what was on my mind @TOM-RO but two people ahve said i need to create boundaries

Builder
Posts: 9,940
Registered: ‎24-04-2014

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

Is there a way you could self validate your feelings without turning to online forums for this. Your feelings matter but I guess people are just trying to get you to be more responsible and more in control of what you're going through. Does that make sense @scared01
Star contributor
Posts: 2,785
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

Yes it makes sense.
I dont know how to validate my own feelings
So any suggestions would be handy
Mod
Posts: 995
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

@scared01 I'm sorry to hear that you feel like you were being targeted. I think everyone wants to have their feelings validated and it is a pretty normal thing - because we wanna know what we are feeling IS valid. Smiley Happy Do you think maybe the person who said that was wanting to encourage you to try and validate your own feelings/build some more confidence with how you are feeling?

As for suggestions - whenever I am trying to change the way that I think I find it helpful to write down the "negative" thought or way of thinking and an alternative "good/positive" thought - it's like reframing your thoughts so that you are talking kindly to yourself. Do you think something like that could work for you?

I'm not sure if I am making any sense at this point I think I should head off to bed soon Smiley Tongue
Star contributor
Posts: 2,785
Registered: ‎06-03-2017

Re: help me please- validation without realsiing

Maybe im not sure @May_ i dont feel comfortable being on the forums anymore. Like i cant be myself and i have to watch what i say and gow I say it as well.
And thank you for the suggestions too

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