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Mod
Posts: 12,884
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

If only I had any friends I could ask @letitgo Smiley Sad The answer is no. I don't feel comfortable going anywhere alone either.
I wish, right?

In other news I've had a tight chest all day. I'm blaming it on this lesson plan that's due in two hours that I still need to finish. *sighs* I'm too scared to go to the doctor alone and I can't tell my mum.
Mod
Posts: 160
Registered: ‎17-10-2016

Re: i can't let go

Hi @N1ghtW1ng,

 

I can relate to not getting along with a sibling... it can really be frustrating and I think I've learnt after a very long time to try and let it go. Now, it's like my sibling is a roommate with whom I don't talk to a lot (that was the case before, anyway). But now, I just don't feel like making a huge effort to change things when nothing will end up being changed anyway. We just get on with our own lives and do our own thing. I know this probably isn't the 'typical' sibling relationship and might seem sad to a lot of people, but it works for us now and things are okay - we still talk sometimes but it's not a lot.

 

Do you think maybe seeing your relationship with your brother as more of a distant one would help with letting go?

 

Also, is your tight chest gone now? Sorry if I missed something, was wondering why you can't tell your mum about it?

Casual scribe
Posts: 15
Registered: ‎05-04-2017

Re: i can't let go

What do you want to do with your anger? I get that you want to let it go but to where?

Mod
Posts: 12,884
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

@cupcakes_032 that's where I want to get with my brother, the problem is I can't seem to let it go, I keep hanging on to my anger and my rage at his stupidity. I guess I could try that, but it's really hard for me to just think something and have that work. It has to be something real.

Also, I've had a tight chest for... two or three days now. The good news is that I finally told my mum. I casually told her when talking about being sore with my ear and my chest (heh heh sneaky me Smiley Tongue) The reason why I couldn't tell her was because I didn't want her to know/worry/whatever. I'm just dumb like that.

@mousecatcher I want to be able to feel it, and then let it go to the air, to fade into nothingness.
Mod
Posts: 428
Registered: ‎29-08-2016

Re: i can't let go

Good on you for telling your mum @N1ghtW1ng! Is there any way that you could avoid situations that will frustrate you with your brother? Do you feel like you're able to express your frustration to your family assertively?

Mod
Posts: 160
Registered: ‎17-10-2016

Re: i can't let go

Hey @N1ghtW1ng, yeah it's really hard to let go.. i think it takes a while and I don't think I've completely let go but that might be okay. It's just enough that I don't have to hold onto the emotions so much, and can move on with my own life, and it works for both of us.

Sometimes when I really want to get stuff off my chest, I'll write it all down on paper, like in a journal. Maybe even a letter to the person about how I'm feeling, but not giving it to them to see. I was wondering if you think that might be helpful in making it more real? Maybe forgiveness can help with letting go too? But i know it's hard. I think it takes time

That's good you told your mum -nice way of sneaking it into the conversation Smiley Wink It's not dumb at all to not want her to worry, you're being considerate Smiley Happy But it's important to take care of yourself too!
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Mod
Posts: 12,884
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

I think this is something I'm going to bring up with my psych. I don't know if forgiving him will help to be honest because I feel it more being a word that I say, rather than it because physically true. I need it to be a tangible thing for it to help. Smiley Sad
Mod
Posts: 160
Registered: ‎17-10-2016

Re: i can't let go

Hi @N1ghtW1ng, sorry yeah I wasn't sure about the forgiving bit after I typed it out.. That's a good idea though, bringing it up with your psych Smiley Happy

Mod
Posts: 1,022
Registered: ‎09-08-2012

Re: i can't let go

I saw your unread letters post to your mum, and I felt like you explored your anger really well in that.
I know you've spoken to your parents before about your brother, but have you spoken to them about any of the stuff you touched on regarding them in the letter? I'm thinking particularly about the feelings of different treatment and favouritism.
Maybe if that felt more addressed, some of the anger at your brother would lessen. Or maybe even them knowing how you feel would spur them into taking more action with your brother.
Mod
Posts: 12,884
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

@Birdeye I could try... but they've gone away on holiday for two weeks, so I'm not going to bother them now. I'll just have to wait and see how I go Smiley Tongue

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