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Mod
Posts: 13,057
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

i can't let go

[ Edited ]

I can't let go of any of my anger. And I hate it. And my stupid, selfish, lazy, piece of shit brother. That's all. 

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,474
Registered: ‎28-05-2016

Re: i can't let go

What's happening for you at the moment @N1ghtW1ng? Is there anything you could do to calm down, maybe some colouring or a puzzle? It sounds like your brother is really frustrating you Smiley Sad Siblings can be so tough to get along with...please remember that anger isn't a bad thing to feel; it's okay to feel upset and angry about the way someone treats you or other people. You don't have to let go of it if you're not ready to, just cope with it and try to make yourself feel a little better. Heart

Super star contributor
Posts: 2,474
Registered: ‎28-05-2016

Re: i can't let go

How are you doing this morning @N1ghtW1ng

Mod
Posts: 13,057
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

Thanks @DruidChild Smiley Happy The problem is I NEED to let it go. The reason why is because I can't cope with it. I just can't cope with the fact that my brother is a selfish piece of shit who cares about nothing except himself and his pathetic "gaming".

I'm alright now, although I have work in an hour Smiley Sad
Super star contributor
Posts: 2,474
Registered: ‎28-05-2016

Re: i can't let go

It sounds really frustrating @N1ghtW1ng Smiley Sad Is talking to your parents about how your brother behaves an option? Personally I just try to stay out of the house as much as I can, study at uni and stuff like that, could that be helpful for you? 

 

I hope work work goes okay! 

Mod
Posts: 13,057
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

I can't talk to my parents any more than I already have @DruidChild. He doesn't respond to anyone. Dad yells at him, Mum gets really frustrated and has pretty much given up hope on him.
As much as I would love my parent's help in getting him in line, they're useless. (I say, get rid of his computer, take away his phone at night, don't let him use the internet, don't let him play any games on the xbox) but those'll never happen. *sighs*
I'm not an outdoorsy person. I mean, I like being outside but I really like being at home. Home is my place, I like being home. Uni isn't really the best place to study because there's often no empty tables at the library Smiley Sad plus it's really far.

Gosh I really hate this neighbourhood. Everything is telling me that I should leave home, but I can't just leave home, it's my home.
Plus, I have no where to go when I leave. I'm alone so often, I'm so tired of being by myself going to places. I'm tired of being the only one who talks to my friends (they talk back, but it's after I speak to them) and I'm just so TIRED!
Ah man, I'm making myself sad. It's not helping that a sad song from Spirit just came on, probably not helping Smiley Tongue

But now I'm going to watch community and stop eating chocolate before I feel sick Smiley Tongue
Okay, I've changed it to an action song from Spirit, so it's better now.

@DruidChild to sum up that long winded response. No, my parents can't help me. They already know and they're response is (to sum it up bluntly) "get over it". Going to uni is a no, it's too far. I don't like going out because I feel alone Smiley Sad

Except it's time for Community! Which is kind of making me sad, because I want that group dynamic of friends. And also annoyed because Jeff is such a manipulative ass, but he's still okay, or at least he gets better as the show progresses Smiley Happy

Work went alright, as well as a six hour shift as a cashier can go Smiley Tongue Hope you're having a good night! Smiley Happy
Super star contributor
Posts: 2,474
Registered: ‎28-05-2016

Re: i can't let go

It sounds really tough @N1ghtW1ng. I understand how sometimes all of those things - your brother, feeling lonely, your parents not being able to help - can combine and make one big knot of sadness and frustration Smiley Sad 

 

It totally makes sense that you'd want to spend time at your home! It sounds like what you really need is for your bro to move out! Is there a youth group or community centre near you where you might be able to meet some people? LGBTQPIA+ groups might add some social support as well, they sometimes attach those to universities or headspace centres. 

 

I remember you mentioned seeing a psychologist a while back, are you still seeing them, do they have any suggestions? 

 

Sending you hugs. I know it doesn't quite feel the same, but you definitely have friends that care about you here on RO! Heart

 

Enjoy your tv watching! I haven't seen community, is it good (except for Jeff Smiley Tongue)? 

Mod
Posts: 1,758
Registered: ‎23-09-2014

Re: i can't let go

@N1ghtW1ng that sounds like such a frustrating situation to be in! It makes total sense that you would feel so sad and annoyed at your brother. Plus, I can't imagine your parents not being able to do anything sends a super hopeful message about the situation either.

 

Also totally agree with you about Jeff from Community - sometimes it seems like he's running away from his redemption arc. How far have you watched it?

 

Hope you're feeling a bit better about things, and like @DruidChild said we're here for you Heart

Mod
Posts: 13,057
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: i can't let go

@safari93 Jeff can definitely be the most annoying character (after Pierce Smiley Tongue) at times. I'm up to the Christmas episode in Season 2. By far, one of my favourites. (I'm definitely a fan of Abed Smiley Tongue)

My brother and I collide (well, I collide with my brother, he doesn't seem to give a damn) is because we're very different people. I like to help people, he's a lazy ass who won't get up to help anyone because he's gaming and that pisses me off because how can anyone be so selfish and not help their family? And it's not like we're a shit family, because he basically gets everything handed to him. Mum actually goes in and gives him his dinner because he doesn't come out and get it himself (!!!!)
Which is why I get so annoyed with him. Nice to know, useless because I don't know what to do.
Mod
Posts: 1,422
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: i can't let go

Community actually came up in conversation today. The fact that I keep hearing about it must be a sign I should start watching it! Smiley Very Happy

It is good that you're very aware of how your brother/his behaviour is impacting you. Could you stay somewhere else, even just for a night or two, to give yourself a break? 

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe

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