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Mod
Posts: 13,049
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

it doesn't matter

[ Edited ]

I'm just a generally shitty person who doesn't matter. 

Community Manager
Posts: 213
Registered: ‎08-12-2016

Re: it doesn't matter

Hey @N1ghtW1ng

When you're super low like this, you can't trust your brain. Your thinking gets skewed and it's incredibly hard to think positively when you're feeling crap. 

One of the ways around this is to have some people in your life that you trust, like the RO community, to tell you what kind of person you are when you feel so bad you can't be sure you're being very honest with yourself.

 

Would you be willing to give this a go?

Mod
Posts: 7,833
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: it doesn't matter

@N1ghtW1ng I know it can be really hard to believe other people saying how great you are. But even though I've met you like once, I consider you an awesome friend and an even more amazing RO mod. You're so smart (you know more German than me Smiley Tongue), you work so hard and I couldn't imagine this community without you.

 

Has anything happened to trigger these thoughts?

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Builder
Posts: 9,655
Registered: ‎24-04-2014

Re: it doesn't matter

Hey @N1ghtW1ng I think you incredibly matter. You matter so much to us on RO. I know I value your friendship and support here on RO
I saw your post about your dog, is this related.
I also think it's great that you've started therapy, it could help you feel better about this.

I have to go to class now but will be around later if you wanted to talk about anything
Mod
Posts: 7,833
Registered: ‎10-08-2012

Re: it doesn't matter

I also just saw the original post about Odin @N1ghtW1ng. To be honest I have some of the same issues with Millie. We took her to puppy school which helped a little bit but she's still a nightmare to walk - she often pulls on the lead to the point where she can't breathe Smiley Indifferent My point is, what you're going through with him isn't your fault - all dogs have different personalities and some are a lot harder to train than others. You're doing awesomely by continuing to work on training despite the frustrations. Have you had a chat to your family about sharing the responsibility of walking/training him?

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Ray, when you're on the Titanic, you load the lifeboats. You don't stop to yell at the iceberg.
Mod
Posts: 1,406
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: it doesn't matter

Hey @N1ghtW1ng, I think you're a wonderful person! I know it can be hard to believe anything nice about yourself when you're not feeling great, but please know that we all appreciate you and are here for you! 

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
Mod
Posts: 13,049
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: it doesn't matter

@Ngaio-RO I feel bad when I feel bad (Smiley Tongue), like I know how ways to not feel this way, I know they're lies, so I shouldn't be having them. Sometimes I find it hard to believe anyone thinks I'm great, especially because I don't have very many friends. I probably sound like such a loser Smiley Tongue But, I think I can try.

@lokifish you make me blush Smiley Tongue No one in my family can help me with odin. My mum hurt her arm awhile ago and it's still not fully healed (she says she'll help once her arm gets better, but I still feel like I'll be the one walking him), my brother is useless and my dad just doesn't. I just don't have the patience to train him, I just don't.

Thanks @redhead Smiley Happy Yeah, this is related to my dog. I feel that I'm a shitty person because I can't stick it out and regularly train him.

@letitgo sometimes I just find it hard to believe anyone could like me.

Also, sorry it took me so long to reply, I was just thinking. (also uni is taking up a lot of my time. But I made an awesome schedule that I might share (it's colour-coded so I can remove the stuff and just show you it's colours Smiley Tongue)
Mod
Posts: 1,406
Registered: ‎04-10-2016

Re: it doesn't matter

I get that @N1ghtW1ng.

Nice job for making a schedule, that should be helpful! I think I should make myself a schedule! Smiley Tongue

My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe

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