17-04-2017 01:26 AM - edited 20-04-2017 01:26 PM
So I am a uni student. broke big time. barely surviving from Centrelink atm. don't have a job. studies are getting so hard and it only adds to my stress. being depressed with all this and not having a lot of support system makes it incredibly hard to manage things at times. asked a girl out last year and it went horribly. but in hindsight I am glad it didn't work since she was a pretty bad person and idk why I even asked her out in the first place..
Recently I asked out another girl partly because I am so desperate to have someone in my life since its hard to handle literally all by myself. Although I am picky when it comes to these relationship stuff, I saw that girl as a person that I could potentially build something up. and guess what she said no too.
I had a previous history of such rejection as well so I am basically keep getting rejected ever since and I am not really surprised looking at my state of life/personality. but this time it was not bad and we could still continue be friends. good thing is she is a really good person, at least from what I know. I have known her for a short period of time, but decided to ask anyway(unlike previous instances) since I was afraid if I waited too long things might change. but one could say it was too early but at the end of the day I got another damn rejection.
I met her in a social and will continue to meet her in that way. our interactions in person has been pretty good though. but she basically said she has lot going on/she doesn't feel like it although she said she doesn't have a boy. doesn't make whole lot of sense to me. anyway, so what should I do? its pretty depressing because all I am looking for is a partner for me to overcome my situation(I know feelings should be mutual ) and I really do believe the right person would make a huge difference to my situation. but I keep getting rejected. and I know that's just life. but its hard you know..just wanted to share my story....
20-04-2017 11:38 AM
Hey @meesha! Sounds like you're going through a stressful time. In terms of a support system, is there anyone at your university you could talk to about managing this stress in a way that could possibly makes things easier? Student counselling or an advisory? Most universities (if not all) should have somebody who can talk you through this type of thing.
Im sorry to hear you're feeling rejected, although I think its great if you can maintain a friendship with this person. Having friends can be just as important and beneficial as having a partner. Would you mind me asking why you feel having a partner is imperative to improve your certain situation? I appreciate you sharing your story with us.
20-04-2017 01:56 PM
Hey @Thylacine ! Thanks for the response. Yeah I have been meeting a counsellor at university for sometime but unfortunately I have accumulated the number of sessions I am allowed with her and now I am in the process of getting another counsellor. I have met my course adviser couple of times as well. While its great to have those support/someone to talk to once in couple of weeks, I was more referring to friends/family sort of thing you know where they are almost always there for me if that makes sense
well it would be somewhat hard to explain, but as you would know, 'two heads are always better than one' right? that's basically what it is really. I have so many things that I want to achieve in my life and I know I have what it takes to achieve them. but when I get knocked down or when things get hard its not that easy to keep up the motivation. sure you can speak to someone who is responsible and try and get over from that situation. but its a more of a temporary thing you know. I mean after a long day when you come back to your room, all you got is you. and at the end of the day there is hardly anyone to share my success with. but I understand having a partner wouldn't necessarily take all the problems away all of a sudden. and one could say having lot of friends would change things. but so far I haven't been able to have that 'real' friends in my life. I have loads of acquaintances but few to none close friends. Its more to do with my personality and I can see whether the issue is. again I am trying to improve those, but you know having that support/person would make a big difference.
I have seen people saying not to give up and I completely get that. no matter how many times I feel like I want to give up, I still haven't. I but I am pretty sure almost all of those people who didn't give up when things got tough had people around them one way or another. If they say otherwise, I don't think I could agree. That's what I am looking for. hope that make sense?
21-04-2017 02:33 PM
Hi @meesha sorry to hear that girl didn't give you the response you wanted.
I totally get how uni can be lonely, and you'd want to make connections to help with that. Maybe start with making some more friends first, and that might make it easier to find a partner?
Is there anyone in your classes you'd like to be friends with?
My freedom is an agreement with myself. It's an acceptance and love for who I am that isn't dependent on performance or the will of other people - Renee Yohe
21-04-2017 02:49 PM
Hi @letitgo. Thanks for your response. Yeah I should look more into making more friends. but as I said, my personal traits hinder the success of long term/close friendships. That's pretty much how it has been through out my life. I could make friends but they almost always ends up being just acquaintances. I am trying to change those bad traits but given how stressful the situation I am in, its pretty hard to handle all by myself. hence why I wanted someone close in my life. but you can't force anyone for that obviously. what can I do...
22-04-2017 08:26 PM
I have found a good list of ideas on how to make friends while at uni from University of sydney that you can find here. It can be difficult to make new friends, but just keep trying. Clubs are also a great way to find new friends with similar interests, does your university have any clubs that you are interested in?
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22-04-2017 09:26 PM
Thanks for sharing that with me. That will be useful! I will keep trying. I have pretty much joined every possible club I can though. but like I said its more to do with my personality that am struggling to hold on to long term friendships.. I am trying to improve that as well.. as I have mentioned, I feel more the need of having someone close to me.. but its just what it is I guess.
22-04-2017 10:05 PM
hi @meesha, that's really great that you've put yourself out there and are trying to improve things to work towards more long term friendships
are there any particular clubs that you're more interested in where you can attend regular events?
23-04-2017 12:02 AM
there isn't much events around at this time since its the second half of the semester and the exams aren't too far away. although I haven't really got any specific interesting club that I would like to attend regular events.. but having said that I will still research about it, may be there are things out there that might interest me
Its just the fact I am missing out having a partner in my life/someone who would always be there for me, which I what I feel I need this at this moment of my life. but I guess you can't always have what you want..