Reply
Builder
Posts: 15,600
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

[SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

I really like how on ReachOut when you make a thread, somebody will always respond and within a couple of days too, which is pretty cool, in some other online spaces you might not get a reply at all. 

sdfg.gif

But sometimes we tend to not make threads, instead reply on posts like Short Sads and it can get missed, we are absolutely deserving of support but it doesn't get seen or get the response we're looking for, or we reply to our old threads, when the problem at hand needs its own thread.

 

Sometimes within these threads there are multiple people with varying worries or concerns and it can turn into a giant mess of bad stuff, and it can be hard to give everyone the support tand attention they deserve.

Many of us feel that when there are multiple challenges being presented in one thread, it leaves the oppurtunity for people to get triggered. Think of making threads a bit like a gate, you know a bit about what might be behind there but you can choose to open it and go through it, with Short Sads there unfortnately is no gate, no oppurtunity to say hmmm the title of this thread means the topic could be triggering for me, leaving more people upset than there was to begin with.

 

Venting and rumination can be unhealthy if there are no next steps involved and a few us here have found that when posting to Short Sads it can be follow up and take the next step because you're post is surrounding but lots of other negativity so it can weigh us down. 

 

Does anybody else agree with what I've said?

We're going to have a special discussion over the next couple of weeks and we're looking for everybody's feedback on if Short Sads is healthy/unhealthy and what the next steps might be, and what are some alternatives. 

 

I'll kick it off with the first question.... 

 

What do you think can we do to make sure people know they absolutely deserve to have support?

 

 

 

 

 

 

//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod
Posts: 13,055
Registered: ‎08-04-2013

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

@j95 this is an awesome post, thank you for doing it Smiley Happy Here is the link to the thread, if you want to have a quick glance. (the link goes to the first page)

 

And on to the question (don't forget to share your answer j95! Smiley Happy)

What do you think can we do to make sure people know they absolutely deserve to have support?

Everyone is deserving of having support. It's important that everyone who posts asking for support is responded too and shown that someone cares, because that's what everyone deserves. 

Mod
Posts: 917
Registered: ‎26-08-2016

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

Thanks for making this post @j95! Smiley Happy I can definitely see your point here and I agree.

What do you think can we do to make sure people know they absolutely deserve to have support?
It is a tricky one - reminding people that they deserve support is really important I think as sometimes when you are in a really dark place you think you don't deserve it. Also making sure people are responded to of course - as @N1ghtW1ng said Smiley Happy
Builder
Posts: 9,655
Registered: ‎24-04-2014

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

What do you think can we do to make sure people know they absolutely deserve to have support?
I agree with both you guys
One thing we can do is check up on people, which happens here which is great.
Another is to help make sure people are safe.
Builder
Posts: 15,600
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

I agree with everybody's answer. We all deserve support and I think we can make it clear to people by letting them know how great it is that they have come to ReachOut for support and that making that step is pretty awesome. Lots of encouragements. Let them know they deserve to feel good.

 

i think it's time for another question...

 

New members might be looking for somewhere to let off some steam, which is fine, but how do we let them know that venting and rumination can sometimes be unhealthy if not followed through with some next steps. What can we do to make new users aware of those next steps?

//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Community Manager
Posts: 5,331
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

New members might be looking for somewhere to let off some steam, which is fine, but how do we let them know that venting and rumination can sometimes be unhealthy if not followed through with some next steps. What can we do to make new users aware of those next steps?

 

@j95 i think one big thing we can do is to check in with the person the next day and see how they're doing. A lot of the time we can learn a heap from looking back at what happened the night before when we can see that there's ways to make things easier next time. I don't think we're very good at that in our community so i am trying to think about what we could do about this, like how we can make sure we get a bit more organised about checking in with people when the stress levels have dropped a little. 

Builder
Posts: 15,600
Registered: ‎17-04-2014

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

Yeah I agree @Ben-RO
//caught in fire, watch me burn gonna live my life, mark these words cause I'm home//
Mod
Posts: 902
Registered: ‎24-10-2015

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

 

Thanks so much for writing this post @j95, it's like you read my mind! haha i've been thinking about this quite a lot lately and have found myself sometimes avoiding the short sads thread which I know isn't ideal Smiley Sad

 

 

What do you think can we do to make sure people know they absolutely deserve to have support?

 Well i think a discussion is like this is awsome and hope that more people on the forums see this thread cause I think there are a lot of people feelin the same way! Just just talking and getting some feedback about how people are feeling about threads where there can be a lot of venting and sometimes lots of people needing support at the same time. Defnitely like the idea of encouraging people to start a new thread but I know how scary that can be sometimes but I think getting people on board to this discussion is a first step because then we can change the culture so that everyones posting new threads and then maybe it will be less scary?

 

New members might be looking for somewhere to let off some steam, which is fine, but how do we let them know that venting and rumination can sometimes be unhealthy if not followed through with some next steps. What can we do to make new users aware of those next steps?

Yeah definitely agree with @Ben-RO about checking in the next day. I try to do that with people if I can see they have had a rough night but I also know I'm not SUPER good at that. Maybe I will try and do it more. I definitely think trying to talk to someone about venting when they are venting isnt easy but the next day could be a good option, and also just asking them what they think they needed at that time? Sometimes hindsight is a gift!

Community Manager
Posts: 5,331
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

So i have been thinking about this chat on and off for quite some time now. I keep thinking about Short Sads too and the pros and cons of supporting people who are all feeling a bit overwhelmed in a group thread. Here's some of the things I'm worried about based on what i have read in chats i've had about Short Sads with y'all and my own thoughts too.

 

  • It can make you feel more stressed to post in a place where other people are also going through a tough time. 
  • There's a chance you'll read something that is "triggering" or upsetting, which is the last thing you want when you're not feeling great! 
  • You might feel like you have to support others when you're not actually in a good space to do that. 
  • You might feel like other people need more support and so feel less like asking for help.  
  • It's tricky for us mods to check in about how you're doing the next day because the thread keeps moving on- it's super important to reflect and learn from a tough time -when you're in the right space to do it and it can take days or even weeks to be ready to do that. 

To me that last point is a big one. We are pretty good at helping people through the stressful bit of a tough time where people are feeling overwhelmed but there's steps we can take to support each other in the days after we have felt really upset; like thinking about what led up to that point, thinking of new strategies to get through the intense feels, solving the problem that caused the feelings, or even just checking in to let the person we're supporting know we're here for them if they want to talk more. All of that is tricky in a thread that is made of lots of conversations happening all at once.

 

We want to make the best possible place to support each other and i think we can support y'all better if we slowly but surely make it feel easier to post about tough times in new threads.  I also think eventually when we have gotten the hang of the new way of doing things we should probably close Short Sads so new members don't accidentally start doing it the old fashioned way. 

 

Sorry for the giant post. I have some ideas about how we could help make it easier to make new threads, but i just want to make a bit of space for y'all to tell me what you think first, so...

 

What do you think about the plan to start making new threads when times are tough? How can we support you to do it?

 

 

Highlighted
Community Manager
Posts: 5,331
Registered: ‎20-08-2015

Re: [SPECIAL DISCUSSION: Short Sads

Hmm i haven't seen a reply to this Smiley Tongue

 

But a lot of you have read it and also people seem to be posting and making their own threads. We haven't had a post in Short Sads for like a week and a bit too so i think that's maybe a sign?

 

I'm keen to hear your thoughts, both if it's working for you, or if you're a bit worried about it, tell me all the things!  Smiley Happy

 

Just in case it's still tricky for people to transition, I'm making sure that our mods  are there to help in case things are stressful and i've asked them to move posts in Short Sads, TwittRO or anywhere else into their own threads if the posts are about something that we can provide more than a few posts of support in. I'm hoping that means we can give all of you more time and support as well as making sure that you can choose when you want to provide support.

 

I hope that's cool and again, if it's not, or you're worried, or all good, I'd love to know and talk it through Smiley Happy .

 

Top High Fived Authors
User High Fives Count
2
1