Taking Your Stress out on Other People & Why it Sucks [ Edited ]

[Sophie-RO]

By Cheer Squad member michine

Have you ever been so stressed that you’ve lashed out at someone around you?

Many of us have. But why do we do it? Well, in stressful situations we are not our normal selves. We allow our negative emotions to overrule our sense of judgment and change the way we normally act and behave, to become someone who acts on impulse and raw emotion. It is in these times that we are most likely to take out our stress and frustration on the people around us.

Stress can accumulate from a number of different sources, including: 

• being emotionally overwhelmed by certain events 
• being under the pump with study or work
• worrying about the future and different outcomes 
• when things just aren’t going our way. 

To get a clearer understanding of stress and when it is out of control have a look into managing stress.

The ways in which we may take our stress out on other people can be both direct and indirect. Direct ways of  venting to release our stress and frustration can involve lashing out at people by

• being physically or verbally abusive
• saying and doing things that we would never normally do
• putting other people down to make ourselves feel better. 

This can appear in varying levels of severity for example making snide remarks about someone to swearing and personally attacking someone’s certain physical characteristics, beliefs or orientation.

In an indirect method we may take out our stress on other people by more subtle methods including being very short with people, having a short temper or ignoring a friend that we would usually talk to. In some cases we may not even be aware that we are doing it!

While taking our stress out on other people can temporarily make us feel better, it can also seriously damage relationships, particularly if someone is hurt physically, emotionally or mentally as a result of our actions and behavior. Ultimately, taking our stress out on other people will not only put those around us in a worse state but it also means we put ourselves in a difficult spot. At the very least we end up feeling guilty about our behaviour, and in some circumstances there are consequences to our actions which we have to face. 

So how do we manage our stress such that we don’t take it out on other people?

There are a lot of different ways to manage stress levels, such as listening to music, going for a run, having some chill out time, or even playing games. In cases where we aren’t able to manage our stress by ourselves, it may be best to take a step back from the situation to clear our head and keep in mind that we cannot let our emotions control us. Rather than taking it out on those around us, we can talk to others about it in order to relieve our tension.

If you have experienced stress affecting your actions and behavior (or someone else's) and would like to learn more, watch from the sidelines or share your ownexperience - join us for the live Getting Real session Monday, September 3^rd 8pm AEST.

[michine]

Hi Guys!

Tonight’s GR session on ‘Not Taking Your Stress out on Other People’ will be cordinated by Fosterthepeople and myself.

We’ve all been at a stage when our stress has been overwhelming. In some cases we let it take control of us and allow it to determine the way we act and treat other people. So how do we get to this stage and how do we manage it?

Please remember to keep the discussion within the guidelines, and if you need a refresh or some clarification please find it at: http://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Welcome-Announcements/Forum-Guidelines/m-p/16/message-uid/16#U16. Also if you feel as though you are getting overwhelmed or want some to speak to please call Kids Help Line on 1800 55 1800.

So let’s get started with the first question of the night

How do you act when you are stressed? 

[Sophie-RO]

Hey there everyone! I think we can all really relate to this topic... Looking forward to it

[delicatedreamer]

Hey everyone

How do you act when you are stressed? 

I generally get pretty irritable which makes me withdraw from people and I get really snappy if I have to interact with people.

[youngster96]

I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety (GAD) and depression and my goodness have the last few months been a lot harder than what I thought when looking back. 

When I am stressed or having a panic attack, I can either become pretty much a recluse and block everyone out who comes near me, because I hate it when people go "ohh are you okay?". 

Or I can just lash out at people and try and be really happy and hyperactive to hide the fact that I am pretty much wanting to breakdown on the inside. 

What sucks the most about the way my anxiety effects me is that I can't control myself. I breakdown and people see me cry (I HATE IT!) and its just really sucky!

I've been to my doctor and she tried to put me on anti-depressents but I said no flat out because they are ones that give really bad side effects. 

Im trying my best but sometimes its hard when your going through it mostly on your own. 

[nat965]

How do you act when you are stressed?

I generally feel down and feel like not doing anything, and lash out on people if it's too much.

This came at a good time since my exams are coming up at the end of the week and next week.

[Sophie-RO]

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michine wrote: 

How do you act when you are stressed? 

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I can get cranky and lose my cool, that's for sure....

[michine]

Hi delicatedreamer and Youngster glad you could join us!

@dd: I'm very much the same when I'm stressed I avoid asmust interaction with other people as possible.

@Youngster: Glad to hear your trying your best to push through it mate! It's never easy on your own, hopefully you can gain something out of tonight!

[Sophie-RO]

Hey Youngster! Thanks for joining us and sharing your experience. It can be hard coming to terms with a diagnosis, and then figure out which is the right treatment for you. If you choose not to take medication, you need to figure out what else you will do to look after your mental health. You can also think about talking to friends and family and tell them how you would like them to react when you are having a panic attack - what you would like them to say and do.

[Sophie-RO]

Hi DD... yes that sounds a bit like me!