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Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

@inez1800RESPECT  I think that's a really important boundary. I used to volunteer for a charity where people used to email or message me at inappropriate times. Once, they emailed me at 12:30am to tell me what to do for the next morning. I think it can be helpful to make it clear to people when you can and can't reply to messages.

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

those close to us can really struggle to know how to respond and feel when we come out (or invite in).  it can take time.  i'd start by going back to that convo.. and letting her know that you've started seeing someone and how they make you feel (like how they care for you, make you laugh, share interests - whatever it is that you like about them and they you).  at the end of the day, people close to you want to see you happy and in a loving relationship.  if your mum is still struggling with it, try sitting down with her and looking at websites together.  having this conversation in a space and place where you're not distracted and not interrupted is important.  let your mum hear your values and that you want her to support and accept you... start gently.  and maybe acknowledge that it might be uncomfortable for your mum (parents usually feel weird the first time their teenagers bring a gf/bf home).  assure her that you're just gonna hang and what you will do - so she doesn't feel so awkward and is prepared.  I know it sounds like a lot of effort, but it''ll help you, your gf and your mum to feel at ease.  

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

oh we've all had that scenario!  and I've been guilty of it too.  just because something is important/ urgent/ worrying to you, doesn't mean it is or has to be for others Smiley Happy

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Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

@inez1800RESPECT I love that you mentioned "inviting in" - such a good way of empowering yourself to share a part of yourself with people you trust Heart  

 

Thanks for sharing your ideas on how to approach these tough conversations. Something I've noticed that has come up a lot tonight is the theme of values. Knowing your values and communicating them is such a powerful thing!

 

We know there are times where these conversations aren't always able to take place and young people for a number of reasons can start to notice that they are in really tough situations at home. 

 

We had this question and I think it's a really brave thing to ask Heart 

 

 

What is the best way to get help if I'm feeling unsafe at home?
 

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

thanks @Bre-RO , I think we need to talk more about our values - they help define you and give you a better sense of yourself and guide your decisions.  whenever someone is feeling really lost or confused or unsure, I ask them to take time and come back to their values.  it's both grounding and reassuring.  

I really love that line - it's ok not to be ok.  I also like the word ok-ish Smiley Happy.

if you're ever not ok/ scared/ struggling with something or feeling unsafe at home - particularly if you're feeling unsafe - know that you don't have to manage on your own.  that's the first and most important thing.  there's always help out there.  know that.  it's really important that you have support.  that might be, firstly, to tell a trusted friend/ teacher at school, family member or someone else you trust.  someone you can open up to and who can check in on you.  they can also support you to more formal supports.  that first step might be jumping on line or on the phone - to 1800RESPECT, to kidshelpline, to eheadspace, beyondblue and, of course, here.  we're so lucky to live in a country that has supports in so many different ways across the country and does not tolerate abuse or violence.  

it can feel scary to ask for help, or to tell an adult what's going on.  the most important thing about help is that people want to work with you to keep you and everyone in your family safe from violence and to help those who are using violence to stop.

I sometimes think that the first time you talk about what's going on is a bit of a practice run - you will feel so confused and scared and stressed and not have the words... that first convo is the most difficult.  the next one, and the next step, is easier Smiley Happy

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

@inez1800RESPECT  That's some really good advice. Smiley Happy

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

hey thanks for having me join you tonight.  it's always so great to see these conversations continue and evolve Smiley Happy.  hope everyone's night is okish Smiley Happy

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

I agree @inez1800RESPECT your values can really bring you back to who you are and what you want in life! 

 

You've made a strong point in saying that anybody who feels unsafe in their home does not have to suffer alone Heart I want to echo that!

 

Are all such wonderful services and we want to encourage anybody who needs to use those supports to do so. 

 

Once again @inez1800RESPECT thank you for making time to chat with us about Healthy Relationships. We hope that this is something the community can read back on and take something from. If anyone would like to see more about what 1800RESPECT say about Healthy Relationships & Help and Support - follow the links to read on. 

 

Thank you so much to @WheresMySquishy and @Hozzles for bringing your experience and insights to this discussion Heart It has been really nice chatting with you all!

 

Goodnight everyone Smiley Happy 

 

 

Re: Ask A Pro Live: Healthy Relationships November 2019

Thank you so much for jumping on here @inez1800RESPECT! I've loved hearing your insights. Smiley Happy

 

Goodnight everyone!