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Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

My support network includes my amazing girlfriend, Lilith, a bunch of my friends, and my family, its really important to have people who are there for you!

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

@KaiRoe  I'm glad you have such a great support network! Having supportive people around you can make a big impact. Smiley Happy

Puberty is an awkward time for just about everybody, but for transgender teens it can be a nightmare, as they grow overnight into bodies they aren't comfortable with. In a heartfelt talk, endocrinologist Norman Spack tells a personal story of how he became one of the few doctors in the US to treat

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

On the forums we often hear from young people about coping with gender dysphoria. What are some good ways to cope with gender dysphoria in everyday life?

 

Great question: 

Health research tells us that pubertal suppression reduces body gender dysphoria in young people and I have certainly seen that in the 100's of young people I have worked with. Pausing a young person’s puberty dramatically reduces distress as it stops or reduces a person’s body from changing in a direction that is not in alignment with their gender identity. 

 

https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/134/4/696 De Vries et al. 2014

In this research they show that young people who were supported with pubertal suppression and then gender affirming hormones at 16yrs have the same mental health outcomes as the general population and were more likely to achieve in higher education - we hear so much about Trans youth having more trouble with mental health so effectively this is saying that they have no more chance of depression or anxiety than anyone else! How good is that?!

 

Want to know more about pubertal suppression and gender affirming hormones check out this video which shows you what a difference it can make

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzbtSeVZeEE  

 

Affirming language is very powerful in reducing social dysphoria eg always using a person’s preferred name and pronouns, even when they are not there. It costs us nothing and can do no harm even if someone was still questioning.

 

Self care yaaaaas @KaiRoe  this is so important - have compassion for yourself, it can be a tough ole world

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

We are coming to the end of our chat, so here are the last three questions for tonight! We do have a lot more questions that we didn't get to today, so we will post a few more tomorrow to give you an opportunity to read the incredible answers from @KaiRoe and @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital Smiley Happy

 

At what age do you think that kids/teens/young adults know their gender identity and at what age can they make decisions about transitioning?

 

Is there a way to become more conscious about using gender neutral pronouns with friends who you used to refer to them with gendered pronouns? How can I be an ally to my friends?

 

Can your gender identity change over a lifetime? A year? A day?

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Check out our community activities calendar for October 2019 here

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

At what age do you think that kids/teens/young adults know their gender identity and at what age can they make decisions about transitioning?

 I don’t think anyone is ever ‘too young’ to work out their gender, however it tends to be seen that in alot of cases many people will say youre too young to be anything other than cisgender heterosexual as the LGBTIQ+ community is often seen to like deviate from the norm and alot of the time parents are worried that their kids are jumping onto trends or following what others are doing. But yeah, i don't think anyone is too young to work out their gender however i do think you should wait until you are absolutely certain before making permanent transition choices.

 

 

Is there a way to become more conscious about using gender neutral pronouns with friends who you used to refer to them with gendered pronouns? How can I be an ally to my friends?

First, you need to think of that person as a gender neutral person, if you're still thinking of them as their binary gender its going to be much harder for you to use gender neutral pronouns. Also, Practice. Theres a little game thing you can use! https://www.minus18.org.au/pronouns-app/

 

Can your gender identity change over a lifetime? A year? A day?

Ah yes! not dramatically but along the spectrum. It did for me! I identified as several things under the non binary umbrella before feeling comfortable in my label! it can and often does change

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Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

At what age do you think that kids/teens/young adults know their gender identity and at what age can they make decisions about transitioning?

 

Developmental psychologists research this a lot and we know that most people know their gender identity by age 5. This doesn't mean that all people yell this from the rooftops at age 5 because there is also this process called binary socialisation which is constant reinforcement from the moment you are born that your sex = gender and there are only two boxes. Most young people come out after puberty has begun or as adults when they become aware that the difference they have always felt has a name... and they feel safe enough to do so

 

 

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

@Jess1-RO that last question made me smile a bit - I'm gender fluid so my gender doesn't really stay still, and I can go from almost female to completely outside the binary in the space of an hour sometimes. 

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

Is there a way to become more conscious about using gender neutral pronouns with friends who you used to refer to them with gendered pronouns? How can I be an ally to my friends?

 

Use the right pronouns and name, stick up for them when others dont. Apologise but move on quickly if you make a mistake. Be the change you want to see in the world and get involved in events and activities that spread love and acceptance

 

 

Can your gender identity change over a lifetime? A year? A day?

Sure, humans vary in so many ways and over time. I think its probably like sexuality though it's not likeley to swing wildly from one end to the other (or at least i have not ever seen that). Shifts from binary to non-binary happen and vice-versa. This would be a great epidemiological research topic for any budding scientists, sexual health nurses or psychologists out there Smiley Wink

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

@Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital I've actually heard of people who do swing wildly.

Like, for me my gender stays within a certain part of the spectrum, but I've heard of some people whose genders can range over the entire spectrum of gender (and agender).

There's an ABC documentary somewhere with someone who buys "male" and "female" clothing for any formal events, since they have no idea what gender they'll be when the day comes. 

Re: Gender- Ask a Pro Live with Kai and Olivia July 25th 2019

And that is a wrap on our live chat tonight!

 

I want start by saying A HUGE AND SINCERE THANK YOU to our amazing, brave, resilient and generous guest speakers tonight @Olivia_QLDchildrensHospital and @KaiRoe. I am so in awe of the experiences, knowledge and passion that you have brought to this discussion tonight Heart I know I speak for so many people here at ReachOut when I say that you are both amazing human beings and I can't wait to see how we can continue these conversations forward to support Trans and Gender Diverse young people on the forums and in our communities Heart

Dirty Bandits GIF

 

Also a huge thank you to all of you, posting and reading, who joined us tonight! It is your thoughtful comments and replies that help to make these conversations a safe and supportive environment to talk about important topics like gender, and create a space for us to learn and share together Smiley Happy 

 

Tomorrow we will be posting a ton more resources, links and some questions we didn't get to tonight so stayed tuned! 

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Check out our community activities calendar for October 2019 here