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Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

Consent while drunk is not the same thing!

 


Most people don't know, but you can't legally give consent if you're under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. I know this is really blury, but it's important to remember.

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

MM -  I'm definitely remembering a few 'WTF? EEEEW!' reactions when reading through my friend's magazines Smiley Tongue it's good to know they're honest about it though, I think that's the time that most girls really need to know this stuff.

 

Kimbo - haha the exact opposite answer! Yea, I agree about it focusing a lot on the social side of it. It's interesting to see how different medias treat these topics, magazines often go for the 'attract a mate' thing, but I've seen sex discussed very honestly in certain parts of the internet (RO, for example!). 

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

What are some ways that alcohol and other drugs might affect your ability to give consent? On the flipside- how might drugs/alcohol impact the ways you know you have got consent from the other person?

 

It certainly makes everything a lot more complicated. Even if it's someone who had given consent on another occasion, it doesn't always mean that it will always be ok - especially since people can be much more vulnerable when affected by drugs and alcohol. As well as the issue of gaining 'consent' more easily from the other party, it also means that someone will be more likely to do something that goes against their own thoguhts and values and give consent where they otherwise wouldn't. A lot of this suggests that a no no is good whenever alcohol is around, but people are more likely to try and we all know it happens a lot. It's hard, because when you are or the other person is affected, you're both less likely to care whether consent even counts.

 

Along the magazine lines.. I don't really read any, but from random library adventures with my friends I know that there is some pretty hilarious stuff in Cosmo! Smiley Tongue

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

@Kimbo, I think the problem with magazines is they are generally more interested in making sales with the text on their striking front covers than giving appropriate sex-education. Unfortunately, they probably have more influence on us, since they have some interesting/funny articles in there too so we're more likely to pick it up than a brochure with quality info.

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

Here are some fun facts about consent for everyone. This is information I have compiled from doing some research on consent.

 

Giving consent to someone to engage in a sexual act must be a verbal agreement between both or all parties. Implied or assumed consent does not count - legally, it HAS to be a verbal agreement between both or all parties involved.

 

Consent can be withdrawn at any time. Consent is something that has to be checked up on with each person at every stage of any sexual act. You have the right to withdraw your consent at any time, and if you do the has person MUST stop what they're doing otherwise anything they do from that point onwards is classified as sexual assault.

 

You can NOT under any circumstances give consent to partake in a sexual act if you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. This sounds like a pretty scary law but it's there to protect people in situations that they may be taken advantage of. You also CAN'T give informed prior consent to partake in a sexual act. So for example, if two people plan in advance to have a dew drinks and then have sex, giving each other verbal (or even written) consent, as soon as either of those people become intoxicated, their consent is legally withdrawn.

 

As I said these laws do sound scary but they are there to protect those who are potential victims of sexual assualt. You shouldn't let them stop you from having a relaxing night with a few drinks with your partner and then closing your night off with some sexy activities in the bedroom, but are important to always keep in mind and consider when you're drinking or taking drugs.

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Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

Howdy! And thanks! I was a psychology student, with an elective handy, and I'd heard from a lot of my international student friends that it was a great course. I thoroughly recommend it to those of you who go on to university should you be interested. It was one of the most enlightening experiences in undergrad. It breaks down a lot of the barriers and taboos about discussing sex, and deals a lot with sexual identity and sexuality issues.

Of course, I agree - it's not like you're going to do a quick google of something in the heat of the moment. I guess the saddest thing in the sexology course was hearing from passionate people who've developed some great informational tools pitched at students of all ages, but there just isn't the uptake from the private (and some public) schools. For me, it would've come in handy if that stuff was taught early, and continually, throughout school as we're developing.

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

@Kimbo, I wish I knew about that before I had used up all of my elective options (I'm studying Psych too).
I think that's the key point with the education, it really needs to be frequently readdressed in high-school.

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

"The absence of no does not mean yes" - do you agree?

 


Sometimes, silence can be misinterpreted.

Sometimes, someone will say yes, they want to participate. But they might not mean it. They might tell you no with their body language and other non-verbals.

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

Kimbo - I agree that it would be good to teach it continually, as such. I know some things were covered in life-ed in upper primary school but we only ever had compulsory sex-ed in health in year 8 (first year of high school for SA). It would be useful to have some things early and more when it's even more relevant. If you only teach it when kids are young, they'll muck around more and forget it later whereas if you only teach it when they're older, it might already be too late! It would also mean you could clear up a number of things people have heard elsewhere as soon as possible.

 

I know some of my friends took health as an elective in higher year levels (when they had those toy babies - I babysat many times..) but it was only ever a small class and almost always all girls. I have no real idea how much more sex-ed was actually covered in those topics.

Re: INFOBUS: Keeping it safe in summer

"The absence of no does not mean yes" - do you agree?

Wholeheartedly. Silence can often mean that someone is uncomfortable but also scared to speak up.