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Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!


@Clockwork wrote:
One other thing I'll quickly add about coming out. The first person I ever "came out" to was myself. I've actually done it twice, once with sexuality and another time with gender.

This is so perfect. How positively true.

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

_sagira_ i think that many many people share more about themselves online and the journey of sharing your super personal information should be at a pace that is the best for you, and sounds like you know who to invite into your world and being really honest about your journey Smiley Happy

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!


@Clockwork wrote:
Oops, it wasn't from Gender Queer but produced by Gay and Lesbian Health Victoria. The link for the booklet is http://www.glhv.org.au/files/GQv3.pdf

That's a brilliant resource

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

Coming out for me was the most difficult time in my life. It was also the most liberating and amazing time in life!

I grew up in a christian family, christian private school, baptised, confirmed, ran the worship team at school and at Youth Group. I went to church 3+ times a week. 

No one EVER comes out as gay at a christian school, it would be social suicide and you'd probably get expelled. I didn't come out until I was 19.

 

The fact is I knew nothing about sexuality or what being "gay" meant. I remember googling "How do you be gay?" "How should a gay man act?" 

If I could go back and tell myself advice for coming out it would be... 

 

1- You care about it 100x more than 99% of the population ever will

2- It's only as big a deal as you make it. 

3- People will actually respect you more for being honest and you'll strengthen some friendships.

4-Expect resistance and some pain from family members and some friends

5- Most of all time heals all. 

My parents sent me to counselling to pray the gay away. I was kicked out of my church music team which I'd served on for over 4 years. I lost a lot of "friends" from the church. But ultimately when I was honest and talked to people and showed them I was still just "me" nothing changed. Life goes on, people are more open around you because you were to them. The only thing that really changes is you can stop lying and start living. 
No matter what your fears are know that the price of coming out pays back 100 times as much as the pain it causes. <3

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

thanks all so much for sharing your experiences...

 

Now this next question was suggested by one of our youth mods... In your opinion, when it comes to family is it easier to come out to siblings, parents, grandparents or extended family? Why?

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

Aw @bluebird everyone's welcome and hope that you'll find it inclusive here and feel comfortable soon enough..

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

@Forwardthinking 

 

Wow. That must have been so difficult. You are clearly a really, really strong person.

 

Just for the record - I believe that god made you exactly how you're meant to be Smiley Happy

lanejane

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

In your opinion, when it comes to family is it easier to come out to siblings, parents, grandparents or extended family? Why?

 

I don't have any expierence with coming out with any family members, so I'll think I skip this question. Smiley Happy

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

Oh my gosh @Forwardthinking that sounds really tough and you've obviously got a lot of strength making it through... thanks for sharing, you never know who might be reading this out there and get some hope from your story...

Online Community Manager

ReachOut.com

Re: [INFOBUS] The rainbow: sexuality & gender diversity!

That's really inspiring @Forwardthinking  and reminds me of a similar story my psych shared with me about a past client she had who was a pastor and ended 'coming-out'. The whole dealing with the family is the thing that would definitely be the hardest part of all. Think that's why I just keep telling people...I'm not interested. Tends to shut them up. Plus I feel that your relationships are so personal and private, yet it has become socially acceptable to question people about intimate details of their lives.