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Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Have you ever asked "RUOK?" , what was it like?

 

Yeah, I noticed one of my friends was kind of distant and not normal, so one night I went on Skype and asked something along the lines of 'Are you okay because you seem kind of un-okay.' And they were like, 'I am absolutely not okay.' And then we had a massive long conversation about loads of things, and now we're a lot more open with each other and I think much better friends. They're still going through a lot of stuff right now, but they've said that having me to talk to has helped them a lot, so that made me feel pretty good.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Whoa @TG! Loving your stats mate! Thank you for joining us Smiley Happy 

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Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@RevzZ Great point!

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@roseisnotaplant you're awesome! Did you feel a bit nervous asking that question? 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Have you ever asked "RUOK?" , what was it like?

 

I have on a few different occasions, though I can't say I've waited for RUOK? day specifically to do it. It can be pretty awkward sometimes, especially when it's someone who usually isn't super open about their feelings, but overall I've always fel like it was the right thing to do to ask.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@RevzZ great idea! We have to look after ourselves before we can look after others! 

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

@Ben-RO Yeah, I did. But now I ask them all the time, and it's kind of a normal thing now.

TG

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

It's not necessarily just stigma. Vulnerability is something that people who've been hurt a lot don't show, because they'rraid of being victimized again by somebody using the "weakness" they've show against them. As a psychologist, many of my most suicidal clients fear opening up for just that reason - they haven't learned how to manage relationships in a way that heads off people who take advantage, because they just want to be nice to everyone.

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Have you ever asked "RUOK?" , what was it like?

 

Yeah I have, a bit and I have been asked it plenty of times. It's nice to know someone has thought about you, even if you are doing ok. It can be difficult to ask sometimes but knowing that you can really help someone is enough to push past that.

//You can stay afraid, or slit the throat of fear and be brave//

Re: [Special guest] Live chat with Katherine Hicks for RUOK? day!

Gender is an interesting one for me. As someone who wasn't born male but always felt somewhat 'masculine' even from a young age I remember hearing the message that "boys have to be strong" but applying it to myself in a weird way like "I'm not a boy so have to make up for that by being tougher" which didn't necessarily work out. Smiley Tongue Anyway off topic.

 

It's hard to ask for help with something because there's this perception that everyone is supposed to be independent and have everything sorted and within control at all times. It's not realistic, but in people's competitive nature they can sometimes get caught up in how they're doing vs other people which can propagate into not wanting to show any weakness/vulnerability.

 

 

Have you ever asked "RUOK?" , what was it like?

I really need to get better at doing this. In-person I get uncomfortable and don't know how to be there for someone, so there's only been a handful of times that I've done it.

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